Saturday, December 29, 2007

More Reasons To Hate Fox News

Oh believe me,this Owl has a number of reasons to utterly detest Fox News, among which are;

1) Fair and Balanced? HAH!!! You're kidding, right? These guys are nothing more than an unthinking, unquestioning propaganda machine for the desperately incompetent Bush administration. And I tell ya, Sean Hannity alone makes me want to punch his lights out for being such an egocentric obnoxious Bush-worshiping blowhard! And don't even get me started on Bill O'Reilly-------. The only thing fair and balanced about this joke of a network is that it allows a number of pro-Bushites to present their OPINIONS as indisputable gospel truth, as opposed to actually OBJECTIVELY reporting news, sadly, something that seems to have gone the way of The Twist and rotary dial phones. And then there's CNN, the Clinton News Network-- (however to their credit, they have Jack Cafferty, something Fox News doesn't have the stones to even contemplate)

2) The Barbie & Ken Syndrome: Just like CNN and pretty much ALL American networks, there's the requisite vacuous, plastic and utterly obnoxious on-air personalities that have the personality of, well, a Barbie or Ken doll, all looks, ZERO substance and go on forever and ever about NOTHING!! If these vacuous pretty boys/girls had to report REAL news, they'd be up a creek!

3) Those Damned Drug Company Ads!!: Another reason I absolutely CANNOT watch Fox news, for every say 15 minutes or so of their neo-con blathering, there's at least 7-10 minutes of these gratuitous, idiotic and UNBEARABLE drug company ads. If you pay attention to a typical Fox News broadcast over an hour or so, you'll see what I mean. Doesn't this strike you as just more than a little suspicious?

4) The Latest Outrage - More Information Control: Now these Bush-worshiping knuckle-dragging Neanderthals (Fox AND the Republican Party) are sponsoring a forum/debate in New Hampshire for the Republican presidential hopefuls, and get this THEY'VE EXCLUDED RON PAUL!! The reasons are screaming obvious, Ron Paul goes totally contrary to the party line (big government, reckless spending, disregard for the Constitution, interventionist foreign policy, supporting dictators and allowing terrorists to get away with it etc). So Fox thinks it's fair and balanced? OH PUHLLLEEEEEEZE!!! This is BLATANT information control, media and political manipulation at its worst, the kind normally occurring in Communist and Islamic dictatorships. A brief story HERE and more HERE.

Fair and balanced? About as fair and balanced as fox guarding the hen house.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

National Holidays I'd Like To See

Holidays are indeed wonderful things, good for the soul, mind and body to rest and celebrate something important and meaningful. Of course, many (including myself) celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ yesterday.

Given where we are as a nation right now, I would LOVE to see these national holidays and good excuses to fire up the BBQ take place;

1) Sovereignty Reclamation Day: Where we as a country FOREVER withdraw our membership from the UN and REVOKE ALL trade treaties with foreign countries for good! And then we BANISH the UN from this country altogether, and the Grand Finale would be the implosion and razing of that infernal UN building in NYC, and it would be broadcast on national TV! What a BEAUTIFUL sight that would be!!

2) Constitution Day: The day that George WMS Bush, Dick "The Penguin" Cheney, " Donald DUMBSfeld, John A$$croft, Alberto "Not So Speedy" Gonzalez, Janet Reno and William Jefferson "Slick Willie" Clinton are all EXECUTED BY FIRING SQUAD ON NATIONAL TV for heinous acts of treason, abuse of power and violation of oath of office. After which, we start reclaiming our Constitutional rights and making sure that NEVER AGAIN will we allow unscrupulous traitors like the Bushes and Clinton's to ever ruin our country again. And it will be a Federal offense from that point on for ANYONE with the last name of Bush or Clinton to EVER run for ANY kind of elected office.

3) Energy Independence Day: A GLORIOUS day, well hey, let's make it A MONTH LONG PARTY!! Where we tell Saudi Arabia to go straight to Hell and take their oil with them! After an ambitious plan to get ourselves off of foreign oil over the period of a decade or so (just like the Brazilians did) and move to other sources of energy, it'd be just DELIRIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL to tell the Saudis and their ilk they aren't needed or wanted around anymore after all their shady dealings, financing terrorism and playing havoc with world oil markets. After this day, we TERMINATE ALL RELATIONS WITH SAUDI ARABIA FOREVER, and with a stern warning, "Mess With Us, We'll Turn Your Country Into A Radioactive Parking Lot!"

4) Fair Tax Day: The day we ANNIHILATE the IRS forever by act of law, institute the Fair Tax system and for the finale, have a nationally televised public burning of the ENTIRE US Tax Code in front of the Capitol Building. After this, the top honchos of the IRS will be marched off to a plane and banished to Antarctica.

Friday, December 21, 2007

It's Friday and Time To Hibernate (I Wish)

Due to the onset of winter, insanity at work, the insanity of the impending holiday season, the delightful insanity of a recent CD release, and various other factors, the regularly scheduled Friday Follies will not be seen for about 2 weeks, simply to allow me to recharge, take a short vacation in the Catskills in upstate NY, turn a year older, record bass parts for my friend Tony Island's next album, get some rest/brief hibernation, envy bears for their ability to hibernate, listen for owls, count my blessings, watch Batman re-runs, take up fretless bass, engage in debates regarding pale ale vs. stout, ponder the meaning of Steely Dan lyrics and various other pleasures. But fear not loyal reader, the Friday Follies WILL be back, with an ever lovin' fangs-bared vengeance!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

There Oughta Be A Law--------

I think about this every once in a while, and it's the subject of if I was in the position to do so, what kinds of corrective legislation would I pass. Well folks , here's a few from yours truly;

1) It would be ILLEGAL for ANYONE with the last name of Bush or Clinton to run for ANY kind of elected office, PERIOD!

2) Rappers would be forced to wear "I Am A Violent Impulsive Dumba$$, Keep Back 200 Feet" signs when going out in public at all times.

3) The 16th Amendment of the Constitution would be repealed (the income tax one).

4) ANYONE who seeks to run for House, Senate or Presidential office MUST take a Minimum Competency Standards Exam and the minimum passing score is 95%, NO EXCEPTIONS and NO EXCUSES. The No Bush or Clinton Law would go DOUBLE here! Anyone caught cheating would be mercilessly paddled and then banished to Antarctica.

5) ALL ballots will have a "None Of The Above" option.

6) All relations with Saudi Arabia will be IMMEDIATELY terminated, FOREVER!

7) ALL US military personnel would be withdrawn from ALL foreign countries., period. The only exception being is if we're threatened or attacked, then we'll go BALLISTIC! After it's over, we'll gladly leave, clean up after yourselves.

8) Convicted non-violent criminals should be given a choice of jail or mandatory 4 year military service. NO PROBATION, NO PAROLE!!

9) An under performing president should be removed from office for gross incompetence, just like a bad CEO would, by DIRECT national referendum vote.

10) One should feel free to blow away an intruder entering one's house, a robber or other miscreant if sufficiently armed with NO fear of prosecution or lawsuit. The criminal's family should also be punished for having him/her in the first place with HEAVY fines and/or jail time (the fines of course should go directly to the victim of the crime or their family) Anyone who injures/kills a criminal should be given a medal of valor. The criminal should be told "Tough Luck", not the victim.

11) No more foreign aid, PERIOD!! You can't manage your money? TOUGH!!!

12) Welfare cheats would be sentenced to hard labor doing highway maintenance, construction, cleanup, sanitation and the like until they've paid off the money they've ripped off John Q Taxpayer for, WITH INTEREST!

13) Legislators who author ridiculous, bizarre, money and/or time-wasting laws would be arrested, jailed and forced to listen to the complete recorded works of Ethel Merman, or they could make it easier on themselves and do hard labor on the highways and what not.

Monday, December 17, 2007

The New Owl Watches CD Is Released!

Sound the siiiirreeeens, get the canned goods, record-biz execs BEWARE!!!!!

After nearly a year of labor, my new CD, "Guaranteed To be 100% Free of Hit Singles", is now out! It is currently available to the world at large on CD Baby (in both CD and MP3 formats):

www.cdbaby.com/cd/owlwatches3.

Sound samples on this page too.


And for local Atlanta GA folks, you can find it at
Earthshaking Music
543 Stokeswood Ave, Atlanta, GA 30316 -
888-978-2500 - Local (Atlanta): 404-577-0707

This CD may well represent a slight change of direction for The Owl Watches. Here, the humorous element of my muse gets free reign for the most part. This is my instrumental poke in the eye at the record industry and all its attendant idiocy and folly. At this point in life, I KNOW I have about a snowball's chance in Hell of getting signed to a label (too old, no commercial potential, not photogenic enough for MTV, you know the drill). I chose the path of maintaining my artistic integrity and having some fun with it at the same time. Hopefully you the listener will find moments here that will make you laugh, cry and call out for Chinese food. Again, it was me playing all manner of guitars (electric and classical), basses and keyboards and percussion, with some very special guest drummers in Tom Scotto (Tony Island), Philip Hart (Z-Axis), Jim Dunn (Lord Only) and the mysterious Cass Eo. Also appearing are members of The Busted Brass and The Long Winds.

Read a review HERE

This album is dedicated to the memory of Ahmet Ertegun and Tom Dowd.

Recorded for the most part at The Owl's Nest South studio in Atlanta GA with parts of "It Takes A Village To Raise An Idiot" done at Funkyard Dog in upstate NY.

Mastered by Scott Trihn and Dave Strohauer @ Earthshaking Music in Atlanta GA

Friday, December 14, 2007

Hoot Hoot, It's the Friday Follies!

And under the Owl's watchful eyes this week are:

1) People Who Should Just Shut Up and Stay AWAY From Microphones #6621: None other than former Atlanta mayor, former UN Ambassador and now perpetual blowhard Andrew Young. Who could forget his 2006 tirade in response to a question about Wal Mart running Mom and Pop stores out of business, “Well, I think they should; they ran the 'mom and pop' stores out of my neighborhood, ... But you see, those are the people who have been overcharging us selling us stale bread and bad meat and wilted vegetables. And they sold out and moved to Florida. I think they've ripped off our communities enough. First it was Jews, then it was Koreans, and now it's Arabs; very few black people own these stores". Sound more than a little condescending and racist to you? And this gem from September of 2007 (from an interview on NewsMakersLive.com) it gets even more loony;

I want Barack Obama to be president,” Young said, pausing for effect, “in 2016"


Regarding Hillary's husband Bill Clinton: "--every bit as black as Barack, He's probably gone with more black women than Barack"

I rest my case.

2) Of Canoes and Faked Deaths: Gotta love this one, a London man faked his own death in a "canoe accident" and hid out for 3 years in a family apartment before being found out (his claims of "having amnesia" just weren't flying for local police when he walked into a police station to tell his story), more details HERE. I give him some points for originality.

3 What Price Loyalty?: What caused it? A better offer? The aftermath of the Michael Vick drama? Well in any case, Rick Petrino has decided to jump ship from the Atlanta Falcons team, much to the horror, chagrin and outrage of his now former team, after promising to stay. Guys, you WILL live through this but I do sympathize with you on the betrayal end of it.

4) Can Our Wimpy Congress Do ONE Right Thing?: This week, the House passed a bill banning waterboarding and other forms of torture by the CIA and military. Predictably, George WMS Bush is threatening to veto. My question is, can the Senate AND House get off their lazy a$$es and summon up a modicum of courage to override a veto. IIRC, we DID NOT use torture during WWII, Korea, Vietnam or the Persian Gulf War of 1990. And also, will Congress get a clue and take action on the much-despised (and rightly so) Alternative Minimum Tax? A guy can dream, can't he? Circular firing squad anyone?

5) Further Proof That Working For The Bush Administration Is Professional/Career/Personal Suicide: The list goes on of those whose careers, professions, reputations and maybe even very lives have been ruined by even the SLIGHTEST association with the hapless, amoral and hopelessly incompetent Bush administration. The most high profile of course are Alberto Gonzalez, Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, Harriet Miers, Tony Snow, John Ashcroft, Donald Rumsfeld among others. And HERE is a list of even more but lesser-known Bush Administration inflicted casualties and the circumstances under which they occurred. More commentary on Democracy Now.

6) How NOT To Do A Cover Song: Aspiring bands take not, DO NOT EVEN THINK of going onstage anywhere if you sound even REMOTELY like THIS (click if you dare)

AND ON THE PLAYER:
A Charlie Brown Christmas



It's hard to improve on a classic like this, a PERFECT soundtrack by the late jazz pianist Vince Guaraldi and his nimble trio for that wonderful animated Peanuts special about Charlie Brown finding the real meaning of Christmas despite all the crass commercialism and superficiality around him. Great cartoon of course, and the PERFECT soundtrack for it!

HAPPY FRIDAY Y'ALL!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

More Disturbing Signs Of A Police State Attempt In the USA

If nothing else, the Bush Administration has served as a very SCARY and graphic example in how NOT to govern or run a country. In some ways, this train wreck of an administration reminds me of Barney Fife on the old Andy Griffith Show taken to a horrific extreme. While Barney's incompetence, fear-mongering and out-of-control reactionary tendencies were hilarious on a TV show, they're NOT funny in real life, especially where our country, the Constitution, The Bill of Rights and the well being of Americans in general are concerned.

1) How can we continue to claim a moral high-ground when ALL THREE branches of government in direct violation of the Geneva Conventions and international law approve, condone and encourage the use of torture (waterboarding for example, which was also used by the Spanish Inquisition and The Nazis), Especially in light of events this week surrounding a revelation that the CIA destroyed taped evidence of a torture/interrogation session. Bush has sure been quiet on this one, you think that Bright Boy George WMS Bush (WMS = Weapon of Mass Stupidity) might have something to hide. Especially since he VEHEMENTLY denies that we use torture, lying right ot our faces just like Bill Clinton did many times duuring his reign of error. Sure, the Democrats are putting on their usual "staged outrage" over this, but of course, these are the same spineless dolts who let the Protect America Act, The Patriot Act and other assaults on the Constitution go through.

2) The Department of Homeland Insecurity headed by Michael Chertoff now have started to implement this brilliant idea straight out of George Orwell's 1984 which involves firemen doing double duty as domestic spies. Say if your house catches on fire, they can go in, rifle through your stuff and report ANYTHING (no matter how ridiculous or insignificant) they deem "suspicious" You KNOW it's only a matter of a very short time before people who read books critical of the Bush administration will be put on the FBI's watch list, as well as anyone who dares to disagree with ANY administration policy, not to mention people who LEGITIMATELY own firearms. Here's a Fox News VIDEO (ironically enough) about this program. The fact that this can be carried out WITHOUT a search warrant is profoundly disturbing to me!

3) VIOLENT RADICALIZATION HOMEGROWN TERRORISM PREVENTION ACT OF 2007, Senate Bill 1959. Probably the MOST BLATANT assault on our Constitutional rights to date. This bill wold allow a presdient to arbitrarily declare ANYONE he wanted toa terrorist or subversive organization and bypass due process of law among other forms of unconstitutional police-state tactics. And get this, it was sponsored by a Dumb-O-Crat (the same ones who get all outraged for show at George WMS Bush's attemtps to throw the Constitution in the garbage, and of course do the exact same things themselves) by the name of Rep. Jane Harman [D-CA] (TRAITOR!!!!). Read the full text of the bill HERE and see if this doesn't get you more than a little hot under tha collar!

4) Quote of Note: "...Of all the men who are the most loathsome, it is those who will sell their friends and comrades for the purpose of conciliating their enemies..."
- Sir Edward Carson

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Hellooooo, NEWMAN!!!!!

It's not just a character on Seinfeld anymore. Looks like NYC has at least one totally EVIL Newman-like mailman, one who happens to have a thing for stealing people's greeting cards and pilfering the cash or checks contained within. Was he trying to emulate the ways and philosophies of Newman on Seinfeld, or had he listened to a certain song by the Dead Kennedys ("Stealing People's Mail") a few too many times? We don't know yet,. but one thing's for sure, this Grinch, if convicted might not get out of Federal prison for a little while. The method which caught him was ingenious, a tiny transmitter hidden in a greeting card. The story HERE

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Friday Follies Calling, Please Deposit $0.50 For The First Three Posts

Hello everyone, and welcome to yet another edition of Friday Follies, and under examination this week;

1) Change Is Inevitable #55413: Yes folks, there are many mainstays and icons of American life that are passing by the wayside nowadays, and here's but a short list:

a) The Phone Booth / The Pay Phone: As cell phones have become more affordable and plentiful, the pay phone/phone booth is officially obsolete, to the point that telecom giant AT&T is getting out of the payphone business altogether in just a few weeks. While cell phones are certainly more convenient (and you don't have to fumble for change or worry about the person behind you waiting to use the booth), their disappearance just BEGS one question, WHERE WILL SUPERMAN CHANGE INTO HIS OUTFIT?

b) Crank Windows In Cars: Not sure what to think here, OK, yeah they're convenient, but what if the motor or mechanism breaks, YOU'RE SCREWED!


c) Carbon Paper: The seriously old-school way to make multiple copies of typed/written documents without a Xerox. Nasty, crinkly and just plain obnoxiously messy, don't think even the most nostalgic person will miss these things. Gone the way of ditto/spirit duplicating . And you know, I wonder how many people used to get high off the fumes from those ditto machines.


d) Lickable Stamps: No tears shed here, self-adhesive rules! Never liked the taste of glue.

e) Film: Digital photography does indeed have MANY advantages, among which are unrivaled editing ability, clarity, convenience, lower operating overall costs and versatility. Even better, no nasty chemicals involved with digital photography. But still, it just isn't quite the same as, for some diehards anyway as fumbling in a darkroom with an enlarger and the pungent aroma of developer, fixer etc.

f) Original Ideas From Hollywood: Ever since CGI effects, remake-fever, hack writers, gratuitous violence, misogyny and profanity, and brainless stars that CANNOT act (like Keanu Reeves and Lucy Liu for instance), Hollywood has yet to turn up anything really worthwhile anymore. As far as the writers strike goes, takes as long as you want guys, not many are whining right now for your return.

g) Musicianship In Mainstream Rock Music: I remember there used to be a time when more mainstream rock music had a certain level of musicianship that was expected from its participants, but sadly it seems that nowadays, the worse you play/sing and the more marketable you LOOK, the more likely you are to hit it big (and of course, don't even think about trying to get signed if you're over 20). There will always be exceptions, granted but it just ain't like the 60's and 70's when musicianship and creativity was the NORM, not the exception. There'll really never be another Beatles, Steely Dan, Cream, Jimi Hendrix, Who, Black Sabbath, Yes etc.

h) The Holiday Inn As We Knew It: In the ever evolving world of hoteliers, needs do change, for good or ill. And in this case, the old open style Holiday Inn motels we grew up with are going by the wayside (with the possible exception of those that overlook coastlines) . One of the concerns has been security. Another has been declining business at the old style motels due to wildly varying quality and other issues. Holiday Inn is still a viable company alright, but it seems that the enclosed style motel is the preference nowadays. More details HERE


2) Don't Confuse Me With Facts: AAAAWWWWWWW Poor George Dubbaya, what's a Smiling Idiot In Chief to do when he wants to bomb Iran sooooooo badly, yet reality and intelligence reports tell him that Iran gave up on its nuclear weapons program at least 3+ years ago. Is Iran our friend now? HELL NO!! Should we keep an eye on them, YES! But ya know George, we've got FAR MORE important things to be doing right now than getting into MORE pointless, stupid acts of aggression against countries that had NOTHING to do with 9/11 just to vindicate your amazingly insecure ego. If you're a real man at all (which this Owl does NOT believe you are), why didn't you declare war on Saudi Arabia and go after Bin Laden and not stop until he was DEAD! ?? Wait, don't tell me, he'll invade and/or bomb states that don't vote predominantly Republican. Invade Greenland or Baffin Island maybe?

3) De-Commercializing The Holidays: As "The Holidays" descend on us (I STILL like Christmas, thank you very much you ACLU types, and I WILL say Merry Christmas over your protests), it seems to bring out the best AND worst in people. This time of year brings together families, friends and the like, giving, feasting, children having the time of their lives etc, On the flip side, it seems to do things like drive up incidences of suicide, depression, substance abuse, excessive debt and consumption. For some, it's a time of blissful remembrances and things to look forward to, for others a time of dread, disappointments, expectations gone awry and the like. One thing I DO love about this time of year is the giving part. Sure, we can bemoan the commercialism all we want, but if you really want to combat that whole thing, start by giving of yourself, be it volunteering to help the less fortunate, being there for a friend or loved one, doing ANYTHING to better the human condition in some way. And HERE is a small list of ideas.


HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Things I'm REALLY Glad I Didn't Say


Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances." -- Dr. Lee DeForest, "Father of Radio & Grandfather of Television."


"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives." - - Admiral William Leahy , US Atomic Bomb Project


"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom." -- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923


"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949


"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers ." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943


"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957


"But what .. is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.


"640K ought to be enough memory for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981


" This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us," -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.


"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.


"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible," -- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)


"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper," -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."


"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make," -- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.


"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out," -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.


"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible," -- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.


"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this," - - Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.


"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy," -- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.


"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." - - Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University , 1929.


"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value," -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre , France .


"Everything that can be invented has been invented," -- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899.


"The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required." -- Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University


"I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself." -- the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox.


"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction." -- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse , 1872


"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon," -- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.


And last but not least...


"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

OH YEAH??????!!!

Monday, December 3, 2007

It's Got A Good Beat and You ABSOLUTELY CANNOT Dance To It!

Well folks, it's been a long, never-a-dull-moment journey but it's nearly over now!

As things stand, the new Owl Watches album, "Guaranteed To Be 100% Free Of Hit Singles" will be coming out of the mastering studio today, getting printed up and will be released officially on December 15, 2007! In the meantime, there are mp3 streaming audio samples of some of the new album HERE for you to check out (just keep in mind these are the UNMASTERED versions).

So far, it will be available on CD Baby, but in the ensuing weeks and months, it will also become available on iTunes and other digital outlets as well. For local Atlanta folks, you'll be able to find it at Earthshaking Music come December 15.

In its final form, it will be 10 tracks instead of the original 11, this only due to some technical issues with one track, but with the appropriate software, it can be remedied and put on the NEXT Owl Watches disc, which is already starting to form, this will be "The Complete Radio Free Antarctica Tapes".

Special thanks are in order for Dave Strohauer and Scott Trihn at Earthshaking Music for doing an AMAZING mastering job and making the songs really jump off the disc. They were able to bring out more details than I thought possible, give the music a vivid 3-dimensional spatial image and a crisp clarity that darn near reminds me of recordings on the famed ECM label (most notably on the 3 acoustic tracks "Sign With Disappearing Ink", "Hydrogen and Stupidity" and "Don't Do The Mime If You Can't Do The Time").

If you like instrumental music along the lines of, say King Crimson, Frank Zappa or other oddities, and if fyou like your instrumental music dripping with more than a little sarcasm directed at the music biz star-making machinery and peppered with gratuitous gong usage and even more gratuitous voiceovers, I think you'll find this a very enjoyable listening experience. Will be available in CD, mp3 and 8-Track Tapes (well, just kidding about the 8-track tapes).

Friday, November 30, 2007

WARNING, WARNING, IT'S THE FRIDAY FOLLIES!

No, my arms aren't exactly flailing like the Lost In Space robot, but regardless, it's Friday and time to examine a few things:


1) Is It Any Wonder? Is it any wonder why Islamists blow themselves up on a regular basis:

No Jesus, No Christmas, No music, No television, No cheerleaders, No baseball, No football, No hockey, No golf, No tailgate parties, No Wal-Mart, No Home Depot, No pork BBQ, No hot dogs, No burgers, No chocolate chip cookies, No lobster, No shellfish or even frozen fish sticks, No gumbo, No jambalaya, No Beer, No wine, Rags for clothes and towels for hats, .Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors., Constant wailing from the guy in the tower, More than one wife, You can't shave. Your wives can't shave. You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung. The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey.but your donkey has a better disposition. Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better????! I mean, really, is there a mystery here?


And some recent Islamic outrages:


  • A British school teacher in Sudan is convicted for blasphemy, FOR NAMING A STUFFED BEAR MOHAMMED??????!! (and NUMEROUS Islamic adherents are now clamoring for this teacher's death now. Lovely!)


  • A Saudi woman who was cruelly and horribly gang-raped got sentenced to jail herself and 200 lashings, FOR BEING IN THE COMPANY OF UNRELATED MEN????! (I tell ya, Islamic justice is really something else!) And of course, her assailants got off real lightly.

2) In Memoriam: Evel Knievel 1938-2007: Wow, this took me by surprise! The notorious daredevil on a two-wheeler who cheated death hundreds of times over, succumbed to the ravages of diabetes and pulmonary fibrosis today at the age of 69. Like him or not, you had to admire the man for his originality, style and sheer fearlessness. More details HERE


3) To Any Nano-Technology Researchers That Are Reading: Could you PLEASE come up with a way for laundry to do itself?

4) Bizarre/Hilarious Ironies #19007: In Palermo Italy, a Mafioso, Michele Catalano was arrested at his house, get this, while watching a mini-series on TV about a Mafioso getting busted by the police!! The story HERE

5) And Lastly: I apologize for this rather brief and LATE edition of The Friday Follies, I've been juggling a few things here, mostly related to getting my upcoming CD ready for release very shortly, a separate blog post will cover that.

Happy Belated Friday Everyone, and as George Clinton and the P-Funk Mob exhorted us a few decades ago, THINK, THINK, IT AIN'T ILLEGAL YET!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Somebody's Gotta Say It Award Goes to Mike Huckabee!


I'm back, after a delightful Thanksgiving Weekend (with LOTS to be thankful for) and enjoying a tryptophan induced semi-comatose state which kept me from giving into the temptation of "Black Friday", The rest did me tons of good.

Three HUGE cheers for presidential candidate/former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee this past week. In completely unflinching terms, Mike Huckabee expressed his outrage and embarrassment at the fact that we are enslaved by Arab oil, and not to mention the fact he's just as outraged at the Saudi government's perversion of justice, more specifically, a Saudi court sentencing a VICTIM of a horrible gang rape to jail and lashings (for get this, being in the company of unrelated males, some horrific taboo according to Islam). The perpetrators, you guessed it, got off VERY lightly. And in relation to the oil thing, Mike said, if elected president would go after having us energy independent in 10 years, so we could tell the Saudi's you can keep your oil and your sand, we don' t need either. A TIME article HERE

And of course, the Bush administration has been notoriously silent on both issues (owing to Bright Boy's being buddy-buddy with the Saudi Royal Family, a relationship that if he had ANY decency or guts, he would TERMINATE IMMEDIATELY).

And it is this Owl's not to be quiet opinion that we DO NOT NEED SAUDI ARABIA, PERIOD!! We need to COMPLETELY and FOREVER terminate ALL relations with them, stop trading with them and do not give them one more red cent of our money so they can use it to train terrorists and violate the basic human rights of their own citizens so routinely while the Bush idiots look the other way. Yeah, you heard me right! We don't need them, they were NEVER our friends, they are NOT an ally and never have been. Saudi Arabia is an Islamic-terrorist state, period and must be dealt with as a terrorist state. Personally, I think we should've bombed them IMMEDIATELY after 9/11 occurred!

It does my heart good that at long last, people are starting to wake up to reality and see Saudi Arabia for the enemy they really are. We need more people like Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul who have the guts to challenge this disgusting status-quo.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

What Is A REAL Conservative?

A REAL Conservative holds dear the rule of law, the principles laid out in the US Constitution and will DEFEND them, NOT UNDERMINE THEM, even in time of war. After all, the undermining of Constitutional liberties is EXACTLY what our enemies want, and unfortunately, we're giving it to them with ribbons and fancy wrapping paper.

A REAL Conservative believes that our military is first and foremost DEFENSIVE, must be in a constant state of readiness, properly armed and equipped with state of the art gear and MORE than adequate manpower and as much early warning as is possible. Anything less than this is NOT ACCEPTABLE. The idea of intervention in the affairs of other nations when we were not attacked or threatened by them is NOT ACCEPTABLE. As the Founding Fathers laid out and admonished us, be friends with other nations, trade with them BUT DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN THEIR AFFAIRS and avoid entangling foreign alliances, PERIOD!

A REAL Conservative believes in LEAN, manageable-sized government, personal liberty and the concept of personal responsibility for one's own actions. A real conservative abhors the idea that the government should manage and run every detail of our lives. It DID NOT work for Communist states and it WILL NOT work for us. Over-regulation kills innovation, economic and personal development and nothing good can come from it. The old saying is true, "Those who would trade freedom for security deserve NEITHER freedom nor security." It is the height of stupidity to think that the government should be our parents. The Constitution was written to RESTRAIN GOVERNMENT, NOT PEOPLE! This is at least one area where the Republicans went horribly wrong and STOPPED being conservative.

A REAL Conservative realizes that the idea of confiscating a portion of people's income under the guise of "taxation" is inherently Communistic. True, for an orderly government to function, it needs a source(s) of tax revenue (which could easily be accomplished with a simple flat-rate consumption tax on goods sold, tariffs, user fees etc.) but punishing people for their hard work is just WRONG!

A REAL Conservative abhors the idea of irresponsible government spending and "living beyond one's means". Deficit spending is the road to ruin. A real conservative holds dear the idea of living within one's means and managing what resources one actually has. The idea of printing money with NOTHING to back it up is just plain inexcusable stupidity to a real conservative. A real conservative would embrace the gold standard.

A REAL Conservative believes in the right of individual states to make their own decisions, laws and such as situations require.

A REAL Conservative believes that the punishment should fit the crime, and that criminals SHOULD NOT get special privileges, and that people should be responsible for their own actions, period and face the consequences of such, be they ever so harsh. Personally, i believe in reinstating the death penalty nationwide!

A REAL Conservative holds dear the idea of self-sufficiency, NOT DEPENDENCE on foreign oil, goods etc. The gas crunches of the 70's should have been a wake up and call to action for us. Sadly, we still choose to be dependent on Arab oil, sold by countries at exorbitant prices who DO NOT have our best interests in mind. A real conservative would be OUTRAGED at knowing a significant chunk of Arab oil profits fund terrorism and oppression and would move to cut off. We need to take a lesson from Brazil and how it has essentially achieved energy independence.

A REAL Conservative upholds the idea of a free-market system, and ABHORS the idea of regulatory overkill (not that we shouldn't have safeguards, but there is such a thing as EXCESSIVE, counterproductive and unnecessary regulation). A real conservative also holds to the idea that this should be a land of equal OPPORTUNITY, but also realizes and is OK with the fact that equal results and outcomes CANNOT and should not be guaranteed.

A REAL Conservative respects the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights, upholds the idea of free speech, religion and press, plus the right to assemble, even if they don't agree with what's being presented. A real conservative realizes that free speech is NOT treason.

A REAL Conservative respects the 4th Amendment of the Bill of Rights guaranteeing that NO search is to be conducted without a warrant and that citizens have the right to be secure in their persons. A real conservative would be calling for the absolute annihilation of the Department of Homeland Security, which is just mere steps away from being the next Gestapo or KGB.

A REAL Conservative would be outraged at our questionable at best relationship with the Saudi Royal Family, knowing that this regime still supports terrorists by financial and material means, as well as brutal oppression of its own people. In addition to our unfortunate history of supporting dictators or other parties who in the end prove hostile to us. Is this not treason by definition? A real conservative would NOT TOLERATE the idea of supporting such evil when we claim to stand for all that is good and right. Again, the Founding Fathers STRONGLY warned us to stay out of other country's affairs completely for VERY GOOD REASONS!

A REAL Conservative examines all sides of the issue, reads, has intellectual curiosity, listens, investigates and researches, and gets their facts and such from more than one source, and doesn't look to get their ego stroked by the myopic Fox News or the equally myopic CNN for example, or worse by sycophants and clueless yes-men.

A REAL Conservative humbly goes about doing their duty, NOT grandstanding and constantly wondering about "their legacy" or where to build their presidential library

A REAL Conservative doesn't shy from honest in-depth discussion or debate but embraces it.

A REAL Conservative NEVER EVER says "Mission Accomplished" before the facts are in.

A REAL Conservative fights the real enemy headfirst, and DOESN'T get distracted by "shiny objects" or let themselves be swayed by misguided notions of "easy victory" over someone that had NOTHING to do with attacking you in the first place.

A REAL Conservative stands for and adheres to moral principles, and DOES NOT throw them out the window for the sake of expedience or a "win at any cost"

A REAL Conservative is man enough to learn from a defeat now and then and apply the lessons. IMO, if George Dubbaya gets his a$$ royally kicked on Iraq, it could be the best thing that ever happened in terms of lessons learned and hopefully NOT REPEATING an inexcusable debacle like Iraq. If the Democrats won in a landslide, it might be a blessing in disguise.

A REAL Conservative realizes that principle and conviction are best coupled with discernment and wisdom. It's one thing to be principled, but to be WILLFULLY ignorant, stubborn and ego-driven is quite another.


A REAL Conservative REJECTS the whole Neo-Con thing as spineless, weak and liberalism in denial. There's no such thing as being sort-of-dead or sort-of-pregnant, likewise, there's no such thing as being sort of conservative.

A REAL Conservative realizes that when going into war, one does NOT win by selective little bombings here and there and minuscule troop strength. Learn from WWII, the Germans and Japanese did not surrender because of selective bombing and little operations with a minimum number of troops, they surrendered because they got bombed back to the stone age (and in Japan' case, it took not one but TWO nuclear bombs) and superior forces.

Monday, November 19, 2007

The Random Owl

1) Sireeeeen Dijon Strikes Again: Does anyone find it more than a little crass and a bit of marketing overkill that Celine Dion is putting tickets to her, rather ironically titled "Taking Chances' tour on sale OVER A YEAR IN ADVANCE????!!!!! Advance reviews of the album seem to hold that Celine does anything BUT take any chances with her safe, calculated, glossy and sappy power-ballad thing. She's been packing 'em in at Vegas for the last several years at her own theater and now she's rarin' to hit the road. No, that's NOT an air raid siren you're hearing folks, it's just Celine caterwauling about L-O-V-E at the top of her lungs.. Yeah, she can yowl, wail and swoop 5 octaves at full air raid siren volume, change costumes and fly, but the real question is, CAN SHE SING?????????

2) Wise Old Owl Saying #95: Never drink anything that you could run a car or airplane on.

3) RE: The GA Drought: It's no secret that my state of GA and much of the Southeastern US is in a MAJOR drought. Our governor, one Sonny Purdue (no relation to chicken icon Frank Perdue), actually held a prayer gathering at the GA State Capitol Building to pray for rain. All well and good, but FWIW, I think the thing they REALLY should've been praying for was the wisdom and foresight to take PREVENTIVE measures before another drought strikes (things like building desalinization plants on GA"s coast, conservation measures, more aggressive pursuit of getting the Army Corps of Engineers to stop draining so danged much water from Lake Lanier, making arrangements with other states to import water in case of a drought, continuous airborne water drops on Lake Lanier, cloud seeding, ANYTHING!!! etc). Hindsight is 20/20 but foresight is immeasurable. I think God Himself is trying to teach us a lesson here.

4) Wise Old Owl Saying #25: If your company says there'll be no more layoffs, THEY'RE LYING!! It'll be a full out massacre!

5) Wise Words from The Gipper: "I don't believe in a government that protects us from ourselves" Ronald Reagan

Friday, November 16, 2007

More Friday Follies Than Humans Should Be Allowed

Happy Friday Everyone! Thought I'd do something slightly different this time out, no political rants and such, just some good old fashioned oddities and absurdities from different corners of this great and unique country of ours

1) 1960's Batman Absurdities: OK, I admit it, I LOVE the 1960's Batman TV series (how could you NOT love the thespian artistry of Adam West and Burt Ward?). But I must say, there's TONS of stuff in that series that makes even the casual observer go HMMMMMMMMM:

Everything being labeled to death with the prefix "Bat----"

Commissioner Gordon never noticing that Batman and Bruce Wayne had the exact same voice

It's always fall when the Batmobile roars out of the Batcave, and it's always summer when they pull up in front of Police Headquarters.

Ever notice that there's no one driving by when the Batmobile roars out of the Batcave?

Ever notice that no Batman stories take place when it's raining or during the winter? Do criminals take the winter off?

A major police force that couldn't solve a parking ticket.

Aunt Harriet never got suspicious of the electronic beeping of the Batphone, and never went into the study.

Villains get out of prison very quickly, even after committing major crimes.

The Bat-Computer only confirmed what Batman knew anyway, so why did he need a Bat-Computer in the first place?

There was a sleazy hotel right across the street from Police Headquarters (The Funny Feline Felonies/TheJoke's on Catwoman). Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Aunt Harriet never got suspicious of Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson's extended absences

It seems odd that no on ever got suspicious and put 2+2 together when the Batmobile came out of a cave directly below Wayne Manor.

Commissioner Gordon never got suspicious that Alfred worked for both Bruce Wayne AND Batman, and that he sometimes answered the Batphone.

Impossible gadgets like the Automatic Tire Repair Device, Anti-Blast Powder, the Joker's Time Control Box, The Alvino Ray Gun(that turned Batman, Robin, and Batgirl into two-dimensional cardboard cutouts), The Three Dimensional Bat Restorer, The Joker's Surfing Knowledge Transferometer and Vigor Reverser, and the Bat-Memory Recollection Cycle Restorer, among others.

Batman and Robin going through a crowded room thinking that they would be unnoticed, or Batman thinking that by just standing at a bar (Hi Diddle Riddle/Smack in the Riddle) that he wouldn't attract attention.

Always having a really specific gadget or device for every situation or possible deathtrap.
A Batfight in complete darkness with invisible villains (The Entrancing Dr. Cassandra),Batman, Robin and Batgirl hitting the villains and not each other.


In the '66 Batman movie, after the big Batfight on the Penguin's sub, Batman and Robin, climb back onboard out of the water. When they enter the sub, their outfits are completely dry.

Funny, Batman said nothing about a Bat-Instant Clothes Dryer or Instant Drying Bat Outfits.

Amazing how Batman's ever ingenious butler Alfred always knew just what to pack in their Utility Belts that particular day, or do things like acid proofing the costumes (wonder how he knew that Batman would be in danger of being dipped in acid that day?) or inventing the Three Dimensional Bat Restorer!

Isn't it funny, in the 1966 movie, when Bruce Wayne and Miss Kitka/Catwoman were taking the carriage ride in the park, that she didn't notice that they were being followed by the Batmobile with its turbine engine whining full tilt?

In the 1966 Batman movie, during the big Batfight on the Penguin's sub, if you look carefully, you'll notice that one of the Penguin's goons went flying, and NOBODY hit him!!! Fighting by telekinesis maybe??

Commissioner Gordon never noticing that Batgirl and his daughter Barbara had the exact same build and voice

2) Taste The Vrooooommmmm!: I LOVE this!!! If you can't find a convenient outlet or extension cord, there's always gas power, and blenders are NO exception. See this bunch on this VIDEO put that principle to work with a gas-powered blender.

3) Bringing Back The Age of Steam: In Saskatoon Canada, one man decided to return to a simpler time and constructed his own steam-powered bicycle, modeled on the old Victorian era ones (yes, such beasts existed back then). Watch the NEWS STORY here for more info, pretty cool this Owl thinks.

4) Talk About Irritating The Neighbors: I don't think you'll hear the phrase "Every Home Should Have One" applied to having one of these any time soon. A man in Moorpark CA just happens to own a fully functional previously decommissioned Federal Signal Thunderbolt air raid siren and has it set up on his back porch. And for kicks, on one Friday a month at noon, he hits the button and let's that thing roar with its ominous "all Hell is breaking loose" sound. Watch it HERE.

5) A Piano Playing Cat: The VIDEO EVIDENCE iIS HERE. There is this cat named Nora who has been repeatedly filmed by her owner actually banging out audible figures on a piano, this is SCREAM to watch!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Holy Cutting Edge Science Batman!

This just made my day!

Some folks on the 1966 Batfan Message Board are discussing how the Bat-Instant Clothes Changer could possibly work. One theory has it that it was similar to the transporter on Star Trek, in which it would dematerialize just their clothes an rematerialize their Bat outfits on them. Another theory has it that it was Bat-Nano Technology in action, that the "costumes" were actually nano-robots controlled by a signal from the Bat Cotume Changer.

Still another theory has it that the Batpole was actually in 2 segments and that they went into adressing room (but if that's true, why them have the "Instant Costume Change Lever" at the bottom of the batpoles?

But in any case, read on HERE for a thought provoking discussion

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A Few Improvements-----

Do ya feel lucky? Well do ya, GEORGE? In a VERY surprising turn of events at the Department of Justice, newly confirmed Attorney General Michael Mukasey and his staff have re-opened a long dormant and MUCH NEEDED investigation into the legality of George Dubaya's warantless domestic spying program, directed against American citizens who so much as make a phone call or write an e-mail to a foreign country.

Under the previous incompetent leadership of Alberto "Not So Speedy Gonzalez", those officially involved in the investigation were denied the proper security clearances to carry it out (presumably on orders from Bush). Now, in almost no time, they were given these clearances. And I bet 'ol George Dubbaya is shaking in his cowboy boots and will probably try to go Nixon on these guys.

My view, FWIW, it's about time that Bush's Constitution-shredding shenanigans came under investigation. The thought of a Bush prosecution/impeachment is delicious, but probably unlikely knowing how GUTLESS and wimpy Congress is.


In any case, hats off to Mr Mukasey and his staff for doing the right thing! The AP story HERE

Friday, November 9, 2007

You Mean It's Friday Already???????

Good Gawd Y'all!!! This Friday sure snuck up on me real fast! And it was not an uneventful week:

1) Attorney General Michael Mukasey Confirmed: Despite reservations by some in both houses of Congress, former judge Michael Mukasey was confirmed to be the US Attorney General for the remainder of the Bush administration's disaster-riddled existence. Overall, my view, FWIW is this; he may not be perfect but he's a VAST improvement over the WORST THREE Attorney Generals this country has been cursed with, the utterly incompetent and bloodthirsty Janet Reno, the self-righteous, sanctimonious and Constitution-shredding John A$$croft and the even more incompetent and utterly UNQUALIFIED Alberto "Not So Speedy" Gonzalez. AG Mukasey has never had previous associations with Bush (a HUGE plus!), nor has he been involved in Washington politics (an even BIGGER plus!). On top of it all, he is publicly promising to be an INDEPENDENT Attorney General, which if he really means it, is what the incompetence-riddled Justice Dept. needs right about now. (cue up soap opera organ music here) Will the Attorney General stay independent? Will George Dubbaya lose his last line of defense?, Will Dick Cheney dress as The Penguin at next year's Halloween party? Tune in next week for another exciting episode of Dubbaya's World! News story HERE


2) Holy Legalese Batman, Another Reason To Hate Lawyers: While so many vintage TV series have made it to DVD, why, oh why has the 1966 Batman series been kept in legal limbo for all these years? I hear so many possible reasons why, among which, having fair and equitable terms for $$ with the estates of many of the now deceased cast (Adam West, Burt Ward, Yvonne Craig, Lee Merriwether, Earth Kitt and Julie Newmar are still among the living though), Time-Warner's thinly veiled hatred of the 60's style Batman and probably a thousand other things. What's wrong with these guys, don;t they know that not only is there a large and enthusiastic fanbase, but the fact they'd make TONS of cash with DVD sales. C'mon you greedy swine, cut us fans a Bat-break here!

3) Further Proof That Pat Robertson Really Is Nuts: When he isn't pronouncing hellfire, brimstone and damnation on everything that moves, Pat seems to have REALLY gone off the deep end, he endorsed Rudy Guliani for president! WTH???????!!!!! The thing is, Guliani is the EXACT OPPOSITE of Pat on so many issues and his ohhh so liberal morals (or lack thereof) would send normal "conservatives" that align with Pat into raging, sputtering fits. Not here. Well Pat, all I can say is, have you been taking your meds?

4) Wise Old Owl Saying #23: Never eat anything you cannot pronounce the name of!



5) Favorite Quote from The Tick cartoon: "Crime has a bossa-nova beat!"


ON THE PLAYER:
Stan Getz/Eddie Sauter: "Mickey One" - Original Soundtrack

A gem from 1965, the soundtrack to an Arthur Penn film (starring Warren Beatty back when he could actually act) an Americanized French art-film if you will, about a Polish comedian who changes his name to "Mickey One" as he's on the run from the Mob for indebtedness and hanging around with the wrong blonde. The movie actually bombed at the box office, but strangely enough, due to the presence of Stan Getz, the soundtrack is still available. Combining Stan's amazing gift of melodic improvisation in nearly ANY musical setting, with the detailed colorful and WILDLY eclectic composition of Eddie Sauter (running the gamut from Bossa Nova to Polka, Stravinsky or Charles Ives-like jarring dissonances and even Las Vegas-Schlock to rock & roll, blues and tender balladry), this thing is a wild ride for the listener well worth taking.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

10 Most ABSURD Laws In Great Britain EVER!

Just about died laughing at these, the 10 most ridiculous and absurd pieces of loony legislation that Parliament has ever enacted:
1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

3 Cheers for Jerry Seinfeld (or The Emperor Has No Suspenders)!

Jerry Seinfeld, long a favorite of mine in the world of comedy, (especially for his pointed observational style of the comedic arts) earned 10,000+ extra bonus cool points this week for showing once and for all how inept, incompetent and utterly USELESS Larry King really is as a journalist and cultural observer (Mr King knows as much about journalism as a demolition expert knows about delicate brain surgery). While on the Larry King Live travesty, Jerry was asked one of the STUPIDEST questions to come from Larry King's trap, this regarding whether his top-rated series "Seinfeld" was cancelled. Unless you've been hiding under a rock, most folks know that Jerry decided to end the series while it was still doing well both creatively and ratings-wise. The last thing Jerry wanted was for his pride and joy to become an embarrassment or an anemic parody of itself. Jerry, more than a little indignant at King's utter ignorance of well-known facts ripped him a new one on live national TV, and as the camera cut away to a commercial, Jerry requested a copy of his resume for King to look over. Watch the VIDEO here for yourself and try not to laugh at this absurd spectacle, truly one for the ages. LK himself was like a deer in the headlights!

It just makes the absurdity of it all the more obvious, how does someone as shallow, egocentric and utterly ignorant and incompetent as Larry King get paid a gazillion dollars a year to singlehandedly destroy journalism (as if self-important blowhards like Dan Rather, Connie Chung or Sam Donaldson weren't enough)?

The world may never know-------

Batteries To Power, Turbines To Speed-------

This could quicken your commute, fry a couple unsuspecting pedestrians or poodles (when you kick the afterburner on), or maybe even get you labeled a threat to national security.

And no, VW does NOT offer it as an extra option either. Nope, this is NOT the work of some terrorist or malcontent, this is the work of a very well-adjusted individual by the name of Ron Patrick.

About 2004 or so, Ron got the idea to give his VW Beetle a little extra "kick" if you will. Relying on his considerable engineering skills to mount a jet engine in his VW (it was a Navy surplus 1350 horsepower turboshaft engine from a helicopter that was converted to a straight turbojet). After successful completion and tests, Ron took nearly ANY available opportunity to let 'er rip. In fact, he even got himself an appearance ( via satellite) on the David Letterman Show, and here is the VIDEO footage of this feisty VW in action at a small airport in Northern California. This has to be seen to be believed.

And at Ron Patrick's WEBSITE, he takes you on a guided tour of how he put this little marvel together.

Just one question, how's the braking on this thing? Is there an ejection seat?

Monday, November 5, 2007

Bizarre Ironies #5656

OK, so Hitlary, uhhh, I mean Hillary's looking like the front runner for the Communists, errrr, I mean the Democrats, and yet the femnists have mixed support for her (story HERE).

OK, could it be that's because of the rather public knowledge of her hubby Slick Willie's terminal case of wandering eye, skirt chasing and serial womanizing is coming back to haunt her? Is it an "affirmative action" vote? Hmmmmmm---

But you know what REALLY perplexes me, is that during the Clinton travesty, UHHHH, I mean presidency, why is it the normally EXTREMELY vocal and OBVIOUSLY man-hating feminist contingent was rather mysteriously silent at the constant revelations of Bill's inability to keep his pants on and control a certain part fo his reproductive anatomy.

Hmmmmmmm, the clot thickens.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Saturday Follies (or Asleep At The Switch)


Lock up the wimmen an chillun, get the canned goods, sound the air raid siiiiiiiirrrreeeeeeeennnns! The Friday Follies IS BACK, a day late though!

1) Source of PHONY Pre-Iraq War Intelligence Found: Amazing!! An Iraqi defector who was failing miserably in his Chemical Engineering major in college AND never even the prominent chemical engineer he tried to pass himself off as, became an "intelligence source" with the intent of seeking asylum in Germany. So, he just started making up stuff to get himself to safety. And our ever so insightful and discerning Bush Administration fell for it. Worse yet these phony reports were passed along second hand by German intelligence officers who fell for this guys nonsense. More details here, and this will also air on "60 Minutes" this coming Sunday night (11/4). Just confirms again how much of a gullible dolt George Dubbaya really is.

2) Bring Down The Curtain on Telemarketing?: Could it be? Maybe, just maybe now that we've had the Do Not Cal List for a few years, and now there looks to be a DO NOT TRACK list for the web, could annoying telemarketing be seeing its final days? One could hope at least, watch this VIDEO for another perspective.

3) In Memoriam: This past week or so we lost Robert Goulet (Broadway/Stage singing star) and country singer Porter Wagoner. The weird thing was, Porter Wagoner's death attracted SO LITTLE media attention, rather odd considering that he was the one who was instrumental in launching Dolly Parton's career. And also, Paul Tibbets, the brave pilot who took the controls of the B-29 "Enola Gay" that dropped the A-bomb on Japan bringing WWII to a close, flew from the planet this week. RIP

4) More Washington Stuff: Condi Rice is about to be subpoenaed in an espionage case, George Dubbaya's pick for Attorney General is barely treading water after his refusal to answer a simple question, is or is not waterboarding a form of torture? Nice going guys!!! Throw out the shovels and switch to a mega-sized diesel powered excavator, you're gonna need it! And under-secretary of state Karen Hughes is handing in her resignation. Good lordy, the body count just rises exponentially with this administration as the train heads for the cliff.

5) Wish I Said This #2281: "King Crimson is the only band I know that can play in 17/8 time and still stay in nice hotels". Bill Bruford

6) More Busted Rhymes: So you think that Rap/Hip-Hop and violent crime aren't connected still? Well check this out, Atlanta based rapper Da Brat just got herself busted for a ANOTHER VIOLENT ASSAULT, this time against a waitress in a nightclub using a rum bottle. You just can't take these rappers anywhere without violence breaking out, can you? (side note, it's not the first time this moron has gotten herself busted for such things, for instance, a pistol-whipping of a club patron in 2000, real class act this girl is).

AND ON THE PLAYER

Stan Getz -The Steamer

A classic quartet session recorded in ONE DAY in 1956 (a shame they don't make records like that anymore) with Lou Levy on piano, Stan Levey on drums and Leroy Vinnegar on bass. Stan's BIG tenor sound is in full evidence as he not just merely states the melody and solos, but really reconstructs the melody as he goes, not to mention his solos are melodic compositions unto themselves. "Too Close For Comfort" is worth the price of admission alone!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

21 Ways To Be A Good Neo-Con

Not just reserving my scorn for the Ultra Liberal Democrats alone, I also will lay out a number of ways to be a good Neo-Conservative (or Neo-Con for short). As far as I'm concerned, GOP Neo-Con's are really crazy ultra-liberals in denial and there are NO MORE real conservatives in the GOP anymore.

1) You have to believe that it is acceptable and normal for someone who is inarticulate, ignorant, dimwitted and just plain stupid to hold high office.

2) You have to believe that like fallen kings and monarchs past, that it is OK to disregard the laws of the land by way of Signing Statements

3) You have to believe that it is OK to spy on your own citizens without warrants (in DIRECT violation of the 4th Amendment of the Bill of Rights) and presume each and every one to be a potential terrorist just because they buy a plane ticket or make an overseas phone call, yet it's not OK to go after foreign governments (Like Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emerates and Pakistan) that actually facilitate, support and perpetrate terrorism.

4) You consider the ways of a crow that is easily distracted by bright shiny objects, in this case the bright shiny object was Iraq, when the crow should've been mercilessly pecking at Afghanistan and annihilating the Taliban, not just sending them packing.

5) You have to believe that Fox News is completely fair and unbiased in its reporting, just like the Democrats think the same of CNN.

6) You have to believe that is OK to detain "suspected terrorists" indefinitely with no charges, trial or anything in direct violation of International Law, the Geneva Convention and The US Constitution.

7) You trumpet "Family Values" yet you cover up for disgusting perverts in your own party like Mark Foley and defend Larry Craig, and that Newt Gingrich cheating on his wife was "not hypocrisy" while Bill Clinton doing the same was.

8) You claim to be a party of ethics and law, yet an ALARMING amount of your number are under investigation or have been prosecuted and imprisoned, or are suspected of unethical/illegal activity.

9) You claim to be a party of fiscal responsibility, yet have participated in far more uncontrolled spending than most Democratic administrations. You cut taxes (good) yet don't cut spending (BAD!!!!).

10) You have to believe that invading a country that had NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with terrorist attacks on the US and justifying it with doctored and false intelligence is perfectly OK , yet it's NOT OK to go after the REAL enemies who were responsible for it (Pakistan, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia).

11) You claim to be a party that wants competent qualified people in important positions, yet your president appoints people that are GROSSLY incompetent, unqualified, under investigation and/or just plain spineless yes-men (just ask Harriet Meiers, Alberto Gonzalez, John Ashcroft, Michael Brown etc).

12) You have to believe that having a near incestuous relationship with the Saudi Arabian government who have KNOWINGLY facilitated and supported terrorism is in the best interest of the US.

13) You have to believe that attempting to sell several US seaports to an Arab country (UAE) that has KNOWINGLY supported terrorism and the Taliban is in the best interest of the US.

14) You have to believe that disagreeing even SLIGHTLY with George Dubbaya or Dick "The Penguin" Cheney is treason, yet agreeing in principle that being buddy-buddy with terrorist states like Saudi Arabia and United Arab Emirates isn't.

15) You have to believe that ANY alternative energy source is not acceptable and that only Arab oil should be used by our country and that energy self-sufficiency is for commie-liberals.

16) You have to believe that the US Attorney General must ALWAYS defer to the Presidents wishes especially when it is in clear violation of all Constitutional law and moral principle.

17) You have to invoke the name of Ronald Reagan while campaigning, yet you totally abhor his type of ACTUAL conservatism, dismissing anyone like him as a right-wing nut job.

18) You have to believe that having morals is for right-wing nutcases and that having them makes you homophobic, judgmental and just plain crazy.

19) You claim to be all for the Second Amendment, yet you oppose the idea of arming airline pilots against terrorists/hijackers.

20) You have to believe that it's OK to order subordinates to ignore Congressional subpoenas in major investigations and that it's OK to lie and obfuscate while accusing the Democrats of the same.

21) You have to believe that having fake staged press conferences without reporters and using fluffy throwaway questions is OK (just ask FEMA).

22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

No, I DID NOT write this but I thought it worthy of passing on to you my readers. And coming shortly, a list on how to be a good Neo-Con, stay tooned!

22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
1 0. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States .
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day ..........but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."
23. You have to believe that it's okay to give an 11 year old girl birth control pills without parental consent, but it's not okay to give a child aspirin.