Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Son of Am I The Only One that Thinks That-------



  • The BIGGEST threats to our democracy are Republicans, Neo-Cons, The ACLU, Department of Homeland Security/TSA, The IRS, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, Big Foreign Oil, Foreign Investors buying up our country, The FBI (Federal Bureau of Incompetence) AND Liberal Democrats alike?

  • That Bill Clinton should be NEITHER SEEN NOR HEARD FROM at any given time, EVER!

  • The Bill Clinton Presidential LIEbrary needs the Airstream logo plastered on it's side for all the world to see (that monstrosity looks EXACTLY like an Airstream double-wide!)

  • The Reality Show craze just might start to hit its death throes before long due to over-exposure bought on by the writers strike?
  • That CNN (Clinton News Network) and False News (Fox) are just two sides of the same coin, Lou Dobbs and Jack Cafferty notwithstanding?
  • That the Atlanta police officers who arrested Brian Nichols after his 36-hour rampage of murder and violence should be severely punished for dereliction of duty, that is, for FAILING TO SHOOT THIS MURDEROUS CRETIN DEAD when they had the chance, sure would've saved us taxpayers the however many millions of dollars that've gone down the drain for his lawyers, and NO TRIAL has taken place yet?
  • John McCain really is NUTS (evidenced by his calling for a 50 to 100 year military occupation of Iraq. AND FOR WHAT??)?

  • The apple doesn't fall far from the tree in the Bush family, all of a sudden, George Dubbaya cares about the economy and proposes an economic stimulation package that's just a bit too late in the game to make that much of a difference, just like the previous Bush administration (GWOMSB now has the dubious honor of being the first president to begin and end his tenure in a possible recession,, bet that looks good on the mantle!) ?

  • Ron Paul should say to hell with the Repubs and run independently. He could teach 'ol Ross Perot a few lessons on how to do it right (in retrospect, I'm glad Perot lost BTW but that's another discussion)

  • The ONLY things you'd find in a George Dubbaya Bush Presidential Library are a few copies of "My Pet Goat", other picture books and ALL taped Fox News broadcasts since 1999 (everything else would've been shredded)?
  • That Wolf Blitzer, Sean Hannity, Chris Wallace, Bill O'Reiily, Rush Limbaugh (though I do find him oddly entertaining sometimes) and Glen Beck should ALL get a good punch in the nose for being such arrogant, simple-minded self-important blow-hards.
  • That John Stewart (The Daily Show) and Stephen Colbert should run for president next time around?

Thursday, January 24, 2008

MROS - Morbid Rush Obsession Syndrome, A Most Insidious Disease

SYMPTOMS MAY INCLUDE:

In drummers, an insatiable desire to accumulate as many toms, bass drums, cymbals and other percussive paraphenelia as possible

In drummers, the compulsion to execute gratuitous rolls down the toms as often as possible, to an extent that even Neal Peart himself would abhor.

In bassists, the morbid desire to exactly replicate Geddy Lee's bass sound and stage rig to the last detail, not to mention his playing style. Severe stages of the disease may even cause the sufferer to vocalize something like an injured vulture as well as trying to play EXACTLY like Geddy Lee, or worse yet LOOK like Geddy Lee. Even worse, buying a vertical chicken roaster, a sandwich vending machine and a Maytag washer/dryer combo to use onstage

In guitarists, a similar morbid desire to replicate Alex Lifeson's rig, sound and playing style to the letter.

In listeners, having to acquire EVER SINGLE LAST thing ever released by Rush, as well as bootlegged shows and associated merchandise.

The delusional belief that Neal Peart's Ayn Rand inspired lyrics have some deep, hidden meaning that will unlock the secrets of the universe, solve the listener's personal problems or at the very least, good sources of authentic Canadian Maple Syup.

Sitting in one's room for days at a time listening to EVERY detail of epics like "2112" , making copious notes etc. Attempting to recreate by any means necessary the wardrobe that Rush utilized on the "2112" tour.

Spending DAYS on Rush fan forums trying to delineate what color of socks Geddy wore at a particular show or session, what brand of toilet paper Neal Peart prefers or how Alex Lifeson fixes his eggs at home.

Extreme irritability or offense easily taken at even the SLIGHTEST bit of humor, criticism or satire directed at Rush individually or collectively

TREATMENT:

No sure fire treatment exists at this time but sufferers have been know to have long-term remissions with psychotherapy and the assuming of personal responsibilities outside of a local Rush fan club and gradual reacclimation to the outside world.We're a long way from a cure but there is hope, and The MROS Foundation wants to do its part to wipe out MROS in your lifetime.

http://www.morbidrushobsessionsyndrome.org/

IT' S ONLY A BAND, GET A LIFE!!!!


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

No Surprise Here-----

Gotta love the Bush Administration, something that'll be talked about decades from now, however, I dare say NOT in very complimentary terms.

Just recently, TWO completely independent journalism organizations have released a study that shows that our Smiling Idiot In Chief and his stable of dumba$$e$ combined made no less than a staggering 935 false statements, half-truths, distortions and outright lies regarding Iraq and it's risk to us. Within a two year period, all this served to galvanize public opinion in a manner not unlike Group-Think that drives cults and multi-level marketing organizations. In other words, everyone jumps ona bandwagon WITHOUT even thinking to question, evaluate or disagree. Frightening really. In short, we were sold a lie, and led to believe that invading Iraq would combat terrorism. As we all well know, it did the EXACT OPPOSITE! And we fell for it. Meanwhile, Bush ALLOWED Osama Bin Laden, the undisputed mastermind behind 9/11 to get away with murder 3000+ times over, and of course, allowed terrorist coddling/supporting Saudi Arabia a free pass.

And this Owl asks;

1) Where's the outrage?
2) Why has NO ONE in Congress called for criminal proceedings against these remorseless, amoral doofuses?
3) Why aren't more people calling for Bush and Co's trial and execution for treason?

More details HERE

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

More VERY Good Reasons To Burn Your Republican Party Membership Card


Soooo, the Republicans are out to fight terrorism and all, eh? And the Republicans are the Good Guys, right? Well, I'd seriously rethink that position if I was you. It's NOT the same Republican party as when Ronald Reagan was in office.

In yet ANOTHER flagrant display of typical latter-day Republican hypocrisy, extreme stupidity and complete lack of morals, conscience or decency, former Michigan Republican Congressman and former UN Ambassador Mark Deli Siljander, is now under the gun with a 42 COUNT indictment that includes money laundering, conspiracy and obstructing justice for allegedly lying about lobbying senators on behalf of an Islamic charity that authorities said was secretly sending funds to Al Queda and the Taliban. Nice going there genius!!! An AP story HERE

Meanwhile our Smiling Idiot In Chief, Traitorous George is partying with his buddies in the Saudi government/royal family and trying to solve the Mideast conflicts (while he couldn't be bothered with affairs in his own country unless it involves illegal surveillance of American citizens) and of course, making a $20 billion dollar arms sale deal with the Saudis, who you know darn well will turn around and give said arms to terrorists for the right price. And all I can say is WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE? Story HERE

Friday, January 11, 2008

Whoooooooo Says Fridays Can't Be Funny?

Oh man, this has been a week or so of at least a couple comedy classics;


1) Delusional George: Our Smiling Idiot in Chief was in rare form this past week or so, for one, while touring through Israel, good 'ol Dubbaya takes the opportunity to play armchair general in the past tense, saying the US should've bombed Auschwitz during WWII. (story HERE ). Well George, I'm thankful for one thing, that you WEREN'T president during WWII, otherwise we'd all be speaking German by now. And as if that weren't enough, Genius Boy honestly believes he'll solve the Mideast conflicts by the end of his term. Uhhh George, greater people than yourself have tried and failed to address that same thing. And with your incompetent bumbling and just plain STUPID incursion into Iraq, what makes you think you'll get 'er done? Story HERE

2) Meanwhile, On The CamPAIN Trail: In New Hampshire, at a coffee shop, Hitlary was just pouring on the fake crocodile tears about people not giving her a chance (after losing just ONE primary, SHEEEESH!!!, There's 48 more to go yet, get over yourself!), and of course, she wins NH for the Dems, while McBush, er I mean McCain took it for the Repubs. One thing I'm honestly hoping for is for Rudy Giuliani to drop out, especially after some of his latest words of wisdom that reveal his true authoritarian colors. It ain't over yet folks, hold onto your seat, then hold your nose come Election Day.

3) As Hollywood Burns-------: Can you just feel the pain, the angst and the sheer misery of millions who won't get to see new episodes of their favorite TV shows due to the writers strike, and how reality shows have COMPLETELY taken over. Well, as far as I know, NOBODY'S been holding a gun to your heads to watch in the first place. And if you feel you HAVE to spend that much time in front of a TV, here's a suggestion for y'all, GET A FREAKIN' LIFE!!!!

4) On A More Serious Note, RIP Sir Edmund Hilary: The man who was the first to climb to the top of Mt Everest against great odds and considerable risk to life and limb has left our midst at the age of 88. Apparently a very gentle and humble soul (in addition to being brave and crazy), Edmund Hilary also led many expeditions through the South Pole among other notable accomplishments. A BBC story with more details HERE

5) Homeland INsecurity Rearing It's Ugly Head Again: Amazing, these guys are really pinning the Stupidity Meter in the red zone! Now they've just unveiled a bunch more odious and unnecessary regulations regarding use of ID"s for air travel, the REAL ID law (hotly contested by civil liberties advocates and lovers of common sense alike) are going to make air travel even MORE hellish for us. Don't you just love these Bush-worshiping idiots who are determined as hell to punish anyone for buying a plane ticket at all (these dolts seem to think that ANYONE who buys a plane ticket is a potential terrorist, LOVELY!) , more gory details HERE

6) Band Names: Need one? Here ya go:

The Acerbic Polyannas
Radio Face
Steve Howe of The Undead
Onion Headlines
Iron Rat Poison
The Dead Undertakers
Cashless Superheroes
Vanilla Train Wreck
Lawrence Welk Straightjacket
The No Green Lantern
Hungry Silicone
The David Lynch Mob
Disneyland Uber Alles
Xerox Atrocities
Crashing Kecksburg Acorns
Premeditated Donuts
Creflo's Last Dollar
Po-Leece Balloon
Gomez's Trains
Who Wants To Go To The Electric Chair?
The Mad As Hell Party Vote
Jello Viagra
MONDALE!!!!
The Dukakis Excuse
Weapons of Mass Stupidity
Sam Peckinpah's Garden Party
Oppenheimer Mushroom Garden
Angry Wooden Shatners
Elaine Benes Dancing Academy
Extreme Moderation
Mattress Tag Police
The Leona Helmsley Happy Hour
Dog Catcher Election
The Professional Victims
When Actuary’s Attack
The Mute Carvilles
The Horror of Lincoln Logs
Blank White Comedy
We've Been Shatnered!
Airline Bags Orbit Saturn
Televised Paint Drying
Drive-by Trombone Solos
Pangean People’s Liberation Front
Dryer Hypnosis
Strip Mall Farm
The Postal Tourists
One-Minute Control Freak
The Neal Sarazin Story
Ancient Mayan Spud Relics
Angry China Doll
Unlawful Gravity
Desmond Doomsday
Cardboard Cutout Museum
A History of Wax
Headless Fiberglass Cows
Janet Reno's Dance Party
Premedicated Donuts
Cosell Sells!

And a belated happy Friday to one and all!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

HIlarious Irony #4545: FBI Gets Owned By The Phone Company!

Yet another bust up laughing uncontrollably moment at what goes on in Washington DC these days.

Turns out the FBI (stands for Federal Bureau of Incompetence) just got bit in the a$$ by the phone company, FOR NOT PAYING IT'S PHONE BILL ON TIME! Now is this delicious irony or what? The FBI in its debaucherous love of wiretaps ran up quite a tab with Ma Bell, such that even a foreign wiretap in progress literally had the plug pulled on it!

And this of course begs at least one question, WHERE WAS ALL THE TAX MONEY WE SUPPORT THESE BOZO'S WITH DISAPPEARING TO?

More details HERE

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Happy 2008 and Many More Follies!

Happy 2008 my loyal readers and loyal detractors alike!

Lots seems to be worthy of curmudgeonly scrutiny this week, so here goes;

1) You're Kidding, RIGHT?: Just as you thought the TSA/Homeland Security/FAA Axis of Asinine couldn't get any more so, these bozos foist upon us a whole slew of ridiculously complex and totally UNNECESSARY regulations regarding taking BATTERIES on a plane flight! Seems these intelligence deficient dimwits are sooooo paranoid that a lithium-ion battery might explode (a'la Sony), so just because of something that were isolated incidents, these uber-doofuses have nothing better to do than punish and frustrate air travellers even more than they already have been. Read more HERE and of course, the full text, straight from the horse's a$$.

2) Have The Pod People Invaded?: What have you done with the REAL George WMS Bush? In the past week, our Smiling Idiot In Chief had a RARE moment of intelligence and signed into law, a bill that actually TOUGHENED the Freedom of Information Act, for instance requiring that ALL FOI requests be addressed within 20 days, establishes a hot line for problems, an ombudsman and a system to track the progress (or lack thereof) of their requests. This was done without much fanfare and no comment from GWB, but I bet at close range you could hear him cursing under his breath as he held the pen. He realized all too late that his demands for increasing government secrecy and going against the Constitution are starting to bite him in the ass, you can bet this was PURELY a desperate last-ditch political move on Bush's part. If he had his way, the Freedom of Information Act would've been repealed altogether. The AP story HERE. OK George, what's the REAL story here?

3) The Central Incompetence Agency Strikes Again: No doubt you've heard the recent flap over the CIA's willful destruction of videotaped evidence of harsh interrogations performed on suspected terrorists using waterboarding and maybe other forms of torture (and I thought we were supposed to be the good guys), in CLEAR WILLFUL VIOLATION of a Federal court order and warnings from Rep. Jane Harman, D-Calif. and others. Their excuse, that the identity of the interrogators would be revealed, utter and complete BS!!!! I honestly believe the REAL reason is to cover Bush's ass so he can continue lying about how "We don't torture---" which is pretty obvious that he is lying. Well guys. your little scheme FAILED, just like nearly everything else the CIA does anymore (and that's what you get for letting a Clinton-era sniveling weasel like George Tenet continue to head the CIA for ANY length of time. Even now he's gone, the CIA is STILL screwing up right and left). I honestly get the impression that the old "Get Smart" TV series wasn't far off. Well now, I'm sure much to Bush's utter horror and chagrin, the Justice Department under Michael Mukasey's leadership is conducting a criminal investigation into the whole matter, seeming at least to live up his promise of an independent Justice Department that will say NO to the president if need be (one could hope). I just hope Bush doesn't try pulling a Richard Nixon and re-enact the infamous "Saturday Night Massacre" of October 1973 that led to his downfall. But then again, he just might, given his rather, shall we say suicidal tendencies. More HERE

4) The Office: OK, you'd think that an Americanized version of a hit British TV series would be lame city, right? Nope, quite the opposite in this instance. The American take on The Office is pure comedic gold!! With a brilliant ensemble cast headed by comedic actor Steve Carrell, this NBC series shows in merciless detail the hijinks and extremely hilarious dysfunctionality of a number of employees of the Dunder-Mifflin paper products company in Scranton PA (also home of the phenomenal Police tribute band Scrantonicity, which later, a lot like Germany's Amon Duul, split into 2 factions, the other being Scrantonicity II), and Carrell's hapless boss character Michael Scott, regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin's Scranton PA branch. One episode for example has Michael accidentally hitting the office drunk with his car. Ridden with artificially induced guilt, he cajoles his co-workers into doing a 5K run to fight, RABIES! (complete with giant check made out to "SCIENCE"). I don't even have time to write of all the hilarious sub-plots that weave in and out fo each other but suffice it to say, especially ANYONE who works in the corporate world, watch this and see if there's not a least a little something that you can relate to and laugh at. Odd trivia notes,

a) Creed Bratton is played by Creed Bratton himself, who was a member of the late 60's hit pop band The Grass Roots

b) The catchy piano-based theme song is written by none other than Jay Ferguson, former lead singer of the great late 60's/70's psychedelic band Spirit. Which inevitably leads to:

ON THE PLAYER
Spirit - Twelve Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus



With a few hits already under their belt (I Got A Line On You, 1984, Mechanical World etc), in 1970, Spirit turned out its undisputed masterpiece, combining the catchy songwriting of Jay Ferguson and the rest of the band, the Hendrix-esque guitar pyrotechnics of Randy California (who previous to Spirit's formation actually gigged with Jimi Hendrix in New York), elements of jazz, folk and psychedelic rock plus relentless studio experimentation. A veritable feast of many flavors that unfolds new details every time out. Tracks like "Nature's Way" and "Mr Skin" (a tribute to their bald drummer Ed Cassidy, who was Randy California's step-dad) became hits as well.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!