Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Owl Predicts #3581: Al Gore and The Blob

This Owl predicts that Al Gore, in his desperation to win new and gullible converts to his junk-science and factually questionable crusades, will try to convince us that The Blob really exists, and if we don't stop driving cars and manufacturing things, the polar ice-caps will melt, the Blob will thaw, get loose and devour the whole planet, killing us all.

Well Al, I'll bet you read THIS article and thought it was real, didn't ya 'ol boy? But then again, can someone soooooo important as the Nobel Prize-winning Al Gore be bothered with such details like, uhhhh, FACTS? After all, this is the same guy who claimed to "take the initiative in creating the Internet" and that Erich Segal's "Love Story" was based on Al and Tipper's dating relationship (an assertion that Segal is very quick to debunk). Maybe if we're somewhat lucky, somewhere there might be a real Blob and Al could try negotiating with this mindless protoplasm. But then again, I shouldn't have said this, it's an insult to mindless protoplasms everywhere.

Monday, April 21, 2008

My Inevitable Anti-Smooth Jazz Rant

This so-called "Smoooooooooth Jaaaaaaazzzz" stuff to me is nothing more than product, a lot like cheez-wiz or McDonalds. It's real smooth alright but I ain't hearing ANYTHING resembling jazz there.

Besides the fact that 99% of sounds so danged much alike and EASILY could be generated by computer (and I suspect about that much of it is) , it completely lacks some of the fundamental characteristics that make jazz what it is:

1) Improvisation (as opposed to just playing reprtitive stock pentatonic licks)

2) Harmonic sophistication and extended harmonies while retaining some grounding in the blues (even the more abstract and experimental avant jazz has this to some extent)

3) Rhythmic variation or even swing

4) Risk taking in general or any kind of originality

5) The intangible quality of soulfulness is completely missing.

The thing that gets me is that some of these smooth jazz guys are actually pretty good musicians that took the easy path to riches, and then there's complete talentless hacks like Kenny G who are very limited to this specific niche', doing the musical equivalent of talentless actors like Keanu Reeves, Lucy Liu or J-Lo geting by on their looks. To call it smooth jazz to me is intellectually and artistically dishonest from the jazz side of it. Why not just say it's instrumental pop and leave it at that? Smooth Jazz? How about more like SNOOZE-jazz.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Monday Madness Strikes Again!

1) Odd Pairings That Actually Work #521: This is going back a ways, but this actually happened on national TV, Oct., 28, 1970. Johnny Cash had a much loved TV show going at the time, and his guest that night, none other than Louis Armstrong! Most would think, how in the world could they possibly pull off something given they came from 2 completely different musical worlds? Well, hear it for yourself, they tore into an old Jimmy Rogers country-blues number "Yodel #9", seen HERE. This had to have been one of Satchmo's last performances before his death in 1971.

2) You're Joking, RIGHT?: While campaigning in PA this week, Barrack Obama in this Owl's opinion made one of the WORST mistakes a presidential candidate could make this early in the game. He might even be right to some degree but man, talk about shooting yourself in the foot! Obama has said that John McCain would be better than Bush, a rather stark reversal from his earlier position that a McCain presidency would be like giving Bush a third term. Even as McCain himself tries to distance himself from the last 8 years of Bush's incompetency, not many are buying it, this Owl among those who just ain't buyin' it either. To paraphrase a friend's comment, saying McCain would be better than Bush would be like saying that "Joe Blow running for police commissioner would be better than Jack The Ripper". Barry, I hope you grasp the implications of what you just said as it relates to your own candidacy, the story HERE

3) Is It Just Me Or----:

a) Does Karl Rove bear at least a casual resemblance to Mr. Freeze or Egghead on the old Batman TV show?

b) If you were a career journalist, wouldn't having ANY mention on your resume' of employment with Fox News be a sure fire career killer?

c) Does not ABC set the pace on its handling of news in terms of sheer vacuousness and insipidness?

d) It really is true that American Idol has contributed to the progressive dumbing down of our country, along with the Bush administration?

4) Batcave Home Theater: See it for yourself, by way of Gizmodo.com, an actual home theater setup very much like the Batcave, has to be seen to be believed HERE!

5) Cursing The Yankees: This has got to be the most HILARIOUS thing I've heard in the last couple weeks, a construction worker involved in building the new Yankees stadium in NYC is actually a rabid Boston Red Sox fan, and attempted to curse the Yankees by burying a Red Sox shirt in the complex, which was later unearthed. Keith Olbermann had a bit to say about this to rather amusing effect HERE.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Monday Moonlight Madness

Here we are again, after a short absence (namely because of work related insanity and a burgeoning addiction to creating twisted, humorous music videos), Monday Madness is back again in full hoot, talons bared (and my eyes are hurting from all this #$@% pollen!):

1) I'm Not Alone #8824: Does my heart good to know there is someone who shares my barely controllable outrage and disgust at Islam, its extremism and its misogyny, intellectual backwardness and complete intolerance of others uniqueness, the right to be secure in their persons, the right to think for themselves and the right to live a peaceful, productive life if they don't agree with Islam's tenets (dang, it's starting to sound like the present day neo-con dominated Republican Party and Fox News). Well, British commentator/comedian Pat Condell has BEAUTIFULLY summed up what I'm sure a lot of us have been thinking despite these politically-correct times we live in. Pat, with his characteristic wit, humor, insight and just plain no-nonsense bluntness takes the Muslim world at large (and yes folks, I DO know and believe that there are peace-loving/law abiding Muslims in the world, just not enough of them I'm afraid) to task for its duplicity, hypocrisy, murderous ways and utter audacity in demanding that everyone else bow down to them for fear of being blown up. Watch the full commentary on video HERE and see if you don't at least understand the outrage. Pat's official site HERE

I don't necessarily agree with ALL of Pat's viewpoints, but this one really struck a chord for me personally.

2) No Surprises Here: Yep, it's official, Dick "The Penguin" Cheney and many below him did in fact approve the use of harsh interrogation/torture methods against "suspected" terrorists in complete defiance of things like The Geneva Convention, the U.S Constitution etc. Cheney took great pains to insulate Idiot-Boy Bush from any meetings/discussions concerning these particular matters (what a pal, I tell ya!). Sure makes a lie of Bush's repeated assertions of "We do not torture". AP story HERE

And of course, rather belatedly in this Owl's opinion, the Democrats are howling over Bush's excessive use of Executive Privilege as an excuse to not be accountable for his reckless and irresponsible decisions and actions (and I agree, Bush is making Nixon look honest and humble by comparison). All well and good, but, ahem, you really needed to be a lot more vocal on this earlier on and actually get off your lazy, mediocre a$$es and investigate, and yes, even initiate Articles of Impeachment. Would you, Of course not, you Dems have ZERO guts, intestinal fortitude, principles and sufficient outrage to do ANYTHING that you were elected to do by a large number of voters in November of 2006. You conned your way into office so that you could simply give Idiot-Boy Bush everything he demanded without question rather than fight for actual change, drawing a paycheck on OUR dime anyway. Oh, yeah, and it IS campaign season too let's not forget. Well, now that I've ranted, I refer you to the story HERE

And of course, General David "Really, I'm Not Running For Office" Patreus went before Congress this past week to make a case for the continuing presence in Iraq that to date has accomplished little to nothing of worth (save for Saddam Husein getting hanged, but in reality, that should've been the responsibility of native Iraqi's to rise up and execute him, but that's another discussion). Along with Congress were our 3 presidential hopefuls, who asked some pretty pointed (but to my estimation, not quite pointed enough) questions of Patreus and Ryan Crocker (what useful purpose does he serve anyway?). Patreus's complete inability to give an honest, straight answer on even the most fundamental questions concerning Iraq was very telling (why doesn't he go into politics?). A REAL military man would've been far more honest and forthcoming than Mr Patreus was. His convoluted, cryptic riddles/double-talk (much like Idiot-Boy Rumsfeld's blathering of years past) only reinforced the idea that someone is NOT telling us the truth. A piece from Energy and Capital HERE gives food for thought. The only case that this Dynamic Duo has made is for Bush's impeachment/execution and Patreus's court martial.

3) More Welcome News On Two Fronts: A significant advance in cancer research AND protecting people in the event of a nuclear/radiation induced incident has recently occurred. In short, a pill that could block radiation damage and protect people exposed to normally lethal or potentially doses of radiation. This ironically, was learned from how some cancers seem to resist radiation treatments. Far more lucid details are found HERE

4) Bravery In The Courtroom: 61-year-old Brooklyn stenographer Ron Tolkin went absolutely Jack Bauer on a psychotic defendant on defendant Victor Wright after the convicted drug felon started choking federal prosecutor Carolyn Pokorny (who thankfully, outside of some bruises wak otherwise OK). Tolkin jumped to her defense, baiting the felon to try attacking him instead. Victor Wright then produced a razor and attempted to slash Tolkin but failed (he dropped the weapon), Tolkin, a lawyer (the defendant's lawyer no less), and 2 Marshalls finally subdued this piece of human trash. Tolkin also happened to have a small digital recorder going which captured the whole ordeal. Shortly after, Tolkin submitted a complete transcript of the whole incident and it can be seen HERE. Tolkin not only displayed great bravery in dealing with this psycho but also unleashed a torrent of cursing that would strip paint.

5) Secrets Of The Magic 8-Ball: One of the most durable and long-lived novelty items/toys, the Magic 8-Ball apparently shows no signs of going away any day soon. Have you ever wondered just how those things were made and how they worked? Well, one person launched a full out investigation into the mysteries of The Magic 8-Ball, and you can see the end result HERE!

On The Player
Steuart Liebig/Tee Tot Quartet
Always Outnumbered



Imagine if you will, someone like Ornette Coleman or Charles Mingus getting a real hankering to play old-timey blues/jazz and country. Sound crazy? Sound impossible? Not if bassist/composer Steuart Liebig has anything to say about it. Combining forces with drum,mer Joe Berardi, cornetist/trumpeter Dan Clucas and Dobro player Scot Ray, the Tee Tot Quartet pulls off the above hybrid and something more with great wit, humor and emotional depth. DO check this out, it can be found on CD Baby HERE with samples. Also, check out Steuart's own site: www.stigsite.com

Friday, April 4, 2008

Hell Freezes Over - I Just Did My First Music Video!

Amazing, ain't it. I swore for years and years that I would NEVER make a music video . Well, time and circumstances have a way of changing one's mind. After months of good natured prodding and goading from some friends, I bought some video editing software (uLead/Corel Video Studio 11) and set to work on creating a twisted and hilarious video for one of my original songs from my most recent CD "Guaranteed To Be 100% Free of Hit Singles". In just over a week, The song is chose was "It Takes A Village to Raise An Idiot". I managed to get something together that I was reasonably happy with and had me cackling like a mad scientist at work.

It's full of things tha tamuse and delight me, Duke Ellington, Buddy Rich, flying saucers, mad scientists, slapstick, train wrecks, Batman fights, lions running a mok in movie theaters, the usual.

It's now posted on YouTube and you can watch it HERE

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Hitlary's Long History of Ruthless Lies and Deceit

You know, 'ol Hillary Clinton's most recent bout of "misspeaking" shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone really.

No matter how much Hitlary tries to paint herself as having integrity and being a great leader, one cannot avoid the disturbing facts.

Jerry Zeifman, a former Chief Counsel on the Judiciary Committe fo the US House of Representatives remembers one Hillary Rodham-Clinton very well in fact. Even at the age of 27, Hillary was one scheming, conniving ruthless witch during the Watergate investigation, unethical and deceitful as could be. Such that when the Wateragte investigation was over, Zeifman outright FIRED Hillary from the committee and even further, REFUSED (again to his credit) to write a letter of recommendation for her.

What bought this on? Hillary and several colleagues on the committee conspired to deny then president Richard Nixon the right to legal counsel, Nixon's counsel, one E. Howard Hunt, if put on the stand, definitely had the goods on Senator Ted Kennedy and some nefarious misdeeds of his. It was Kennedy's counsel Burke Marshall who got Hillary the job on the Judiciary Committe in the first place. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I knew Hillary was a no-good lying snake from the start, I just didn;t realize the true extent, and there are more details on Jerry Zeifman's site HERE

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

More Reasons You Should STOP Watching Or Listening to Fox News:

1) In August of 2006, the locale was Largo Florida. A police officer pulls over an SUV for speeding, but to add to the drama, the vehicle's stereo was BLASTING enough to rattle windows of nearby houses. Obnoxious Gansta Rap? NOPE, it was Bill O'Reilly! And that poor cop wound up getting a fusillade of undeserved verbal abuse from this mindless O'Reilly-worshipping dumba$$. I'd bet anything Belligerent Genius Boy there was afraid he'd have to go before a liberal judge that would throw the book at him. Ya know, I HOPE that's exactly what happened to him. Story, complete transcript of the exchange AND video HERE

2) Also, in September of 2006. Several high profile individuals, one of them being MSNBC anchor/commentator Keith Olbermann recieved rather suspicious letters in their mail, that when opened, spilled out a white powder, and of course, the natural assumption is that it was Anthrax. Along with this was a menacing note that read "DEATH TO ALL DEMAGOGUES". Quite wisely, Keith called the FBI and police, and then went to the nearest hospital to make sure he was OK. To add to this drama, despite being told to NOT report on it until given the OK by law enforcement officials, the Rupert Murdoch-owned New York Post of course, defied authoriities and went to press anyway, and wrote a shrill, factually innacurate and hateful story (no surprise here coming from Mr Murdoch,practically endorsing terroristic threats against anyone who doesn;t agree with them and openly MOCKED the police and FBI for their work. Keith got a clean bill of health hours later and returned to work. The powdery substance turned out to be soap powder. Keith's story HERE

But wait, there's more! The same nutjob who sent these fake Anthrax letters struck again, exact same targets. Eventually, in November 2006, police arrested one Chad Castagana, then aged 39 of Woodland Hills CA, a loser who at his age STILL lived with his parents and, ready for this, worshipped, drooled and obsessed over not one but THREE women associated with Fox News (Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin and Laura Ingraham. Honestly, 3 horrid people I wouldn't be seen dead with) A Reuters news account HERE. Keith Olbermann's perspective and comments on such sick individuals HERE.

Mr Castagana was later convicted on 14 felony counts and sentenced to five years probation and confinement at the Gateways Community Corrections Center in Los Angeles, CA where he is to receive psychiatric treatment and medication.

Parents, if you keep Fox News and The New York Post out of your home and away from your kids, you're doing your job well indeed. We don't need more belligerent and mentally disturbed degenerates like these two examples running around under the influence of a network that could only be described as "Fairly Unbalanced"