21 Ways To Be A Good Neo-Con

Not just reserving my scorn for the Ultra Liberal Democrats alone, I also will lay out a number of ways to be a good Neo-Conservative (or Neo-Con for short). As far as I'm concerned, GOP Neo-Con's are really crazy ultra-liberals in denial and there are NO MORE real conservatives in the GOP anymore.

1) You have to believe that it is acceptable and normal for someone who is inarticulate, ignorant, dimwitted and just plain stupid to hold high office.

2) You have to believe that like fallen kings and monarchs past, that it is OK to disregard the laws of the land by way of Signing Statements

3) You have to believe that it is OK to spy on your own citizens without warrants (in DIRECT violation of the 4th Amendment of the Bill of Rights) and presume each and every one to be a potential terrorist just because they buy a plane ticket or make an overseas phone call, yet it's not OK to go after foreign governments (Like Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emerates and Pakistan) that actually facilitate, support and perpetrate terrorism.

4) You consider the ways of a crow that is easily distracted by bright shiny objects, in this case the bright shiny object was Iraq, when the crow should've been mercilessly pecking at Afghanistan and annihilating the Taliban, not just sending them packing.

5) You have to believe that Fox News is completely fair and unbiased in its reporting, just like the Democrats think the same of CNN.

6) You have to believe that is OK to detain "suspected terrorists" indefinitely with no charges, trial or anything in direct violation of International Law, the Geneva Convention and The US Constitution.

7) You trumpet "Family Values" yet you cover up for disgusting perverts in your own party like Mark Foley and defend Larry Craig, and that Newt Gingrich cheating on his wife was "not hypocrisy" while Bill Clinton doing the same was.

8) You claim to be a party of ethics and law, yet an ALARMING amount of your number are under investigation or have been prosecuted and imprisoned, or are suspected of unethical/illegal activity.

9) You claim to be a party of fiscal responsibility, yet have participated in far more uncontrolled spending than most Democratic administrations. You cut taxes (good) yet don't cut spending (BAD!!!!).

10) You have to believe that invading a country that had NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with terrorist attacks on the US and justifying it with doctored and false intelligence is perfectly OK , yet it's NOT OK to go after the REAL enemies who were responsible for it (Pakistan, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia).

11) You claim to be a party that wants competent qualified people in important positions, yet your president appoints people that are GROSSLY incompetent, unqualified, under investigation and/or just plain spineless yes-men (just ask Harriet Meiers, Alberto Gonzalez, John Ashcroft, Michael Brown etc).

12) You have to believe that having a near incestuous relationship with the Saudi Arabian government who have KNOWINGLY facilitated and supported terrorism is in the best interest of the US.

13) You have to believe that attempting to sell several US seaports to an Arab country (UAE) that has KNOWINGLY supported terrorism and the Taliban is in the best interest of the US.

14) You have to believe that disagreeing even SLIGHTLY with George Dubbaya or Dick "The Penguin" Cheney is treason, yet agreeing in principle that being buddy-buddy with terrorist states like Saudi Arabia and United Arab Emirates isn't.

15) You have to believe that ANY alternative energy source is not acceptable and that only Arab oil should be used by our country and that energy self-sufficiency is for commie-liberals.

16) You have to believe that the US Attorney General must ALWAYS defer to the Presidents wishes especially when it is in clear violation of all Constitutional law and moral principle.

17) You have to invoke the name of Ronald Reagan while campaigning, yet you totally abhor his type of ACTUAL conservatism, dismissing anyone like him as a right-wing nut job.

18) You have to believe that having morals is for right-wing nutcases and that having them makes you homophobic, judgmental and just plain crazy.

19) You claim to be all for the Second Amendment, yet you oppose the idea of arming airline pilots against terrorists/hijackers.

20) You have to believe that it's OK to order subordinates to ignore Congressional subpoenas in major investigations and that it's OK to lie and obfuscate while accusing the Democrats of the same.

21) You have to believe that having fake staged press conferences without reporters and using fluffy throwaway questions is OK (just ask FEMA).

22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

No, I DID NOT write this but I thought it worthy of passing on to you my readers. And coming shortly, a list on how to be a good Neo-Con, stay tooned!

22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
1 0. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States .
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day ..........but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."
23. You have to believe that it's okay to give an 11 year old girl birth control pills without parental consent, but it's not okay to give a child aspirin.

You're Just Asking For A Spanking and No Dinner Young Man!!!

It's hard to believe, but ONE person in all of Congress, our wimpy, spineless "I Hear And Obey Master Bush" Congress has dared to take a stand on this illegal and immoral proposed legislation that aims to give telecom companies retroactive immunity from prosecution or lawsuit for complying with George Dubbaya's warrantless domestic spying program. Connecticut Senator Christopher Dodd went out on a limb and is determined come Hell or High Water to block this odious bill that in essence legitimatizes criminal behavior, so typical of the Bush gang to do just that (but then again, what do you expect from a bunch of incompetent, amoral and greedy people like this?).

For even more details, check out this ARTICLE. And if Chris Dodd shows up at your neighborhood pub, please remember to buy this man a beer and thank him.

Yeah Man, It Really DID Go To Eleven!

Bang-A-Gratuitous-Gong, Smash A Power Chord On An SG Through A Marshall, Crack Open The Champagne, Hoot and Holler!!!

Yes, it's official folks, I am DONE recording and mixing the upcoming Owl Watches release "Guaranteed To Be 100% Free Of Hit Singles". This past Saturday night, to the thunderous peals of gongs and a cranked up tube amp, I completed the last song "Just What Did My Royalties Pay For?"

Now. all that has to be done is first the mastering (which will be done by Earthshaking Music), and then duplication. If all goes well, I should have the album available for public consumption in early December, just in time for the dreaded Christmas rush!

All told, it was worth the almost year-long process to put it together and get it happening. A number of people were very helpful to me along the way, and I'd like to thank Brian King, the guys at Earthshaking Music, Tom and Tony Scotto, Philip Hart from Z-Axis, Jim Dunn, Dave Condra and more for EVERYTHING you contributed to this project. THis Owl thanks you to no end!

And here's the FINAL track list:

1. The Lawyers Made Us Do This---
2. Did They Even Sing?
3. Sign With Disappearing Ink
4. It Takes A Village to Raise an Idiot
5. Hydrogen and Stupidity
6. A Brew for Elliot Spitzer and The Minutemen
7. How To Sell Out and Eclipse The Spice Girls In Sales
8. Don't Do the Mime If You Can't Do The Time
9. And Your Point Is--- (for Miles Davis)
10. WARDROBE!!!
11. Just What Did My Royalties Pay For?

Stay tuned for more details as they unfold!!!

Something Different - One Nation Under An Owl

Somehow, due to a writers block and/or lack of anything worthy of ridicule this week, The Friday Follies will not appear today, but will be back next week at its regularly scheduled time.

However,, inspired by, of all things, an article on CMT.com by music journalist Chet Filipo titled "If I Ran Nashville" (highly recommended reading BTW), I will venture forth with "One Nation Under An Owl" (or If I Ran The USA). and here's what I'm a fixin' to do if it were EVER to come about:

1) Bring Back Law and Order to Washington, NOT lawlessness and incompetence that currently overruns Washington. First on the agenda would be to restore the checks and balances called for in the US Constitution. This would involve breaking out a new VETO stamp every so often (not for gratuitous vetoes mind you, but at least Ronald Reagan had the right idea of using it when needed, and often). It would also involve severely curtailing a vast amount of power that the Bush administration has erroneously conferred on itself, in short the office of Presidency is NOT a license to do anything one wants with complete impunity. ANY repeat of the Bush or Nixon administrations is just plain UNACCEPTABLE! There will be NO MORE signing statements (as I believe this violates the oath of office to "faithfully execute the laws of the land" and "protect and defend the Constitution". I would make absolutely certain that ALL signing statements done under the Bush Reign of Terror were rescinded for good. I would then approach Congress with legislation to make signing statements ILLEGAL! Supreme Court justices would be selected on the basis of adherence to Constitutional principles, NOT personal loyalty or an activist agenda. Same would apply to appointing an Attorney General. Personally, I would rather appoint someone I never knew in my entire life (to minimize the possibility of personal loyalty getting in the way of impartially enforcing the laws of the land) yet had good strong moral and Constitution based principles. I would also lobby hard to make it a criminal offense (under penalty of removal from office) to make "recess appointments", a tactic that George Dubbaya used quite often to put grossly incompetent and unqualified people in positions they had NO business being in at all. NO MORE under this Owl's watch. And finally, I would have George Dubbaya arrested and put on trial (along with his buddy The Penguin and Donnie Dumbsfeld) for abuse of power, repeated violations of the Constitution, invading a sovereign nation under false and deceptive pretenses and conspiracy to commit treason (regarding the Dubai Ports World deal). There would be NO PARDON issued for this bunch of war criminals . These three clowns would get their choice of banishment from the US altogether or going in front of a firing squad or the gallows, to be televised nationally.

2) Law and Order Part 2 - LAWYERS BEWARE!: The death penalty would be reinstated nationwide for the following crimes with NO exceptions: Murder, Kidnapping, Rape, Child Molestation, Armed Robbery, Home Invasion, Treason, Membership in a terrorist organization, street gang or Mafia family and production/distribution of Meth, Cocaine and Heroin. Next would be a MAJOR crackdown on the law profession and its numerous abuses, There will be NO MORE loopholes or technicalities, ALL evidence will be admissible, period! Criminal defense lawyers will be compelled by law to present an honest and TRUTHFUL defense, or face a MANDATORY 10 years in jail and permanent revocation of their law license(s) for perjury, obstruction of justice and being an accessory to a crime after the fact. Likewise, prosecuting attorneys will be compelled to present a TRUTHFUL case under similar penalties. It will ALSO be a MAJOR FELONY to file a frivolous lawsuit, the perpetrator AND their lawyer both will be charged with extortion, fraud and/or blackmail, and both will face a MINIMUM of 10 years in prison (plus the lawyer will lose their law license FOREVER! NO EXCEPTIONS!) . Also, in law schools. ALL students will be REQUIRED to take personal ethics training and learn proper social behavior and proper courtroom behavior, or else, NO FREAKING LICENSE, PERIOD!. And I think its high time we untie the hands of our police and STOP criminalizing them as is the typical unthinking liberal thing to do. They need support and the freedom to do their primary job, which is protect and serve.

3) Bring In The Cranes: With a wrecking ball attachment that is! This government in its present form is FAR TOO BIG AND INTRUSIVE, completely contrary to what the Founding Fathers laid out. So, this Owl would ELIMINATE FOREVER the following useless bureaucracies to start (I'm sure there'll be more):

• Department of Homeland Security: A useless money-wasting abomination is just a few steps from becoming our version of the KGB or the Gestapo. It's Orwellian tactics and such will NO LONGER BE TOLERATED in a free society. We have an FBI and a CIA already and they darn well better learn to do their job efficiently and with actual intelligence.
  


• Department of Education: The states alone should be handling this end of it WITHOUT unnecessary interference, micromanaging or agenda pushing from the Feds.



• The IRS: I'm squarely with Neal Boortz and the Fair Tax crowd on this one! This corrupt organization wastes so much money, causes headaches for EVERYONE and can't even make sense of its own hopelessly convoluted tax code that by itself is inherently unfair to all. I'm all for a flat rate "sales tax" of sorts but NEVER AGAIN must we perpetuate an inherently Communistic idea like our current tax system that confiscates people's earnings and throws them down the drain to boot.
  


• The Electoral College: An idea whose time has long gone!
  

In general, I am a HUGE advocate of states rights and allowing them to make local decisions as necessary.

4) Get Out and Stay Out!! - Part One: In order to regain our sovereignty as a country, I would pull us out of the UN in no time flat. And to make it VERY official, I would have that worthless UN building RAZED and imploded, have it shown on national TV an declare that day a national holiday! The UN is good for nothing except appeasing and acquiescing to ruthless dictators and trying to form a one-world government. I'll also have us pull out of ALL treaties like NAFTA and the like.

5) Get Out and Stay Out!! - Part Two: The illegal immigration issue has clearly shown just how GUTLESS and unprincipled both the Republicans and Democrats are! I'd have us sealing up our borders, and cracking down but good! Illegal immigrants with criminal records would be the first to be PERMANENTLY deported. And ANY company that hires illegal labor would be PUNISHED SEVERELY! We CAN'T go on like we have, we've got to say NO MORE!!! We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore! NO AMNESTY, NO EXCEPTIONS, NO EXCUSES!

6) Give Our Armed Forces A Fighting Chance: It ENRAGES me what both the Clinton and Bush administrations have done to our armed forces, namely cut them down to a bare minimum level, left them ill-equipped and hurt their morale. We need a strong DEFENSE (NOT an intervention force but a DEFENSIVE force above all). We need to have more than adequate troop strength and up-to-the-minute technology to enable our men and women in uniform to defend us when the occasion calls. It might mean reinstating a draft of some sort for a time, hopefully it wouldn't come to that unless we were attacked like in WWII. I'd have us rebuilding our armed forces to a state of readiness should we be attacked again. Personally, I would NOT tolerate the idea of invading a foreign nation in pre-emptive fashion without just cause nor will I tolerate the idea of nation-building and trying to impose or values where they are not wanted. Clinton, Gore, Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld should ALL be hanging their heads in shame (and they should also be hanged, period) for the mess they've made of our armed forces and foreign policy. And once we have a robust set of armed forces again, I think we should MERCILESSLY punish those responsible for 9/11, namely Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Afghanistan, something that George Dubbaya was just too much of a brainless coward to do.

7) We Don't Need Your Damned Oil Anymore!: We definitely need to take a lesson from Brazil, starting with an ambitious piece of legislation (sorry folks, there is just no other way, as our gutless Congress and last two sorry excuses for Presidents have shown), Brazil went to bio-fuels and now, ten years later is in the position to tell Arab oil producers and the like to get lost! I personally would insist on attacking this dilemma on a number of fronts, namely giving tax-breaks and necessary help to push along alternate energy research and production (bio fuels, fuel cells, hydrogen, solar, wind, fusion etc). The oil companies need to get smart, start thinking ahead, and the government should no longer give them handouts and a free pass. they've either got to smarten up and branch out or they'll face the wrath of a lot of people who are sick of being lied to and ripped off. We need to become completely energy self-sufficient, and be able to tell Saudi Arabia to go screw themselves, they've done it to us long enough!

8) Get Out and Stay Out!! - Part 3: One doesn't need much convincing that the Bush foreign policy and a fair amount that came before it has been a miserable failure. The Founding Fathers had it right all along. Their take, trade with other nations, be their friend (if they'll have us) BUT DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN THEIR INTERNAL AFFAIRS, EVER!!! AVOID ENTANGLING FOREIGN ALLIANCES. This "interventionist/nation building" delusional nonsense has blown up in our faces many times over, propping up ruthless dictators like The Shah of Iran, Saddam Hussein, Manuel Noriega, Augusto Pinochet and not to mention supporting Osama Bin Laden in the late 70's/early 80's among others. Some would call it isolationist, but I disagree. It's called being smart, something the Democrats AND Republicans know NOTHING about. America First!

9) Bring Our Jobs Back Home: What more needs to be said? This outsourcing of jobs to foreign countries is just plain WRONG, shortsighted and detrimental to our overall economy. Companies should have the incentive to keeping jobs here. Liberals take note, your EXCESSIVE taxation and overkill regulation is driving business out of the country, GET A CLUE!! CEO's, GET A BRAIN and start thinking long-term, and get your damn hands out of the cookie jar young man or there'll be a spanking and NO dinner for you! Personally, I would call for more pro-business initiatives, of all sizes. Along with it, the need for companies to be good corporate citizens is all too clear, we CANNOT HAVE another Enron or the likes of it!

10) Tax Cut AND Spend Cut!!: Self-explanatory, cut WASTEFUL unnecessary spending, allow people to keep what they earn (investment and such will surely follow), You can;t have one without the other. Tax increases have a nasty way of grinding the economy to a halt! What George Dubbaya FAILED to do (among many things) was cut spending and use his VETO stamp when he needed to, allowing Congress to spend recklessly! NO MORE! Although he was not able to put government spending increases into negative numbers (after all, who could?), Ronald Reagan had a MAJOR victory in the LOWEST increase of government spending EVER during his presidency (about 3.6% IIRC) despite loyal opposition.

11) Take Back Our Second Amendment Rights!! Liberals, we've tried it your way and it HAS NOT worked! You Republicans and your mediocre wimpy neo-con trip have failed miserably too! A secure nation is an ARMED one! EVERY citizen is given the right to bear arms by the Second Amendment of the Bill of Rights (but I do agree that SOME individuals should NOT be allowed to own weapons, namely those with a history of mental illness and/or a criminal record). In any case, we need to strike back at the criminal element. I would propose a law once and for all reinstating Second Amendment rights, AND as part of it, a national "Stand Your Ground Law" that says that if your well-being or that of your loved ones is threatened by a criminal/intruder, that you have EVERY right to protect yourself by ANY means necessary, INCLUDING lethal force without fear of prosecution or lawsuit. Personally, i think its time we bought back some SERIOUS frontier justice! It's about time we got mean as hell with the criminal element and start putting a lot of these degenerate punks 6 feet under! Its about time we untied the hands of our police and started letting them give these punks the thrashing they deserve! I'd also move to overturn the Miranda ruling and start taking away some of these so-called "rights" that shyster lawyers think that criminals should have. No more country club jails! NO MORE TECHNICALITIES!!!

12) Start Respecting The First Amendment Too!: Just one example, I am so ticked at how the Republicans AND Democrats monopolize and control public discourse and do not allow other parties and persuasions to have a voice. What is wrong with these mediocre morons that they don't allow people like the Libertarians or the Constitution Party to participate in the democratic process? The Constitution DOES NOT even mandate political parties in the first place! I CANNOT ACCEPT THIS! The two-party system MUST GO!!

13) Start Respecting The Fourth Amendment As Well!: Both the Nixon AND second Bush administrations will go down in history as being the most paranoid and contemptuous of the Bill of Rights ever, especially when it comes to the 4th Amendment of the Bill of Rights. I WILL NOT tolerate things like warrantless surveillance/spying and wiretapping against US citizens. I WILL NOT TOLERATE capricious J Edgar Hoover like tactics being exacted against those who hold different views and WILL NOT TOLERATE the capricious abuse and misuse of personal/confidential information that the government has NO BUSINESS knowing anyway. This is at least one reason I would ANNIHILATE the Department of Homeland Security in a New York minute! What the Bush administration is doing is COMMUNIST and TOTALITARIAN! Period! There will be HELL to pay for the responsible parties of this oppressive and indecent lunacy!

14) Iz R Prezidintz Lurning?: I would happily sign into law a requirement that ANYONE who seeks the office of President or other high office would be REQUIRED to take and pass a Minimum Competency Standards Test to determine their fitness for office, it would both a written and a psychiatric examination. Those who test below minimum standards on both would NEVER be allowed to run for high office, period! We CANNOT EVER have another George Dubbaya Bush in office (or ANY of his kinfolk for that matter) or ANYONE that has about the intelligence of a box of rocks, INCOMPETENCE IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! We cannot afford any more embarrassment and disgrace than this dolt has bought on us already.

And that my friends is how I'd run the USA

More Unbelievable TSA Idiocy

Good 'ol Michael "Gut Feeling" Chertoff. As if the Dept of Homeland Insecurity (a USELESS money-sucking communistic bureaucracy if ever there was) and it's associated TSA weren't hell-bent on making flying anywhere for any reason even more odious than ever, out comes a revelation (cited in an LA Times article by Patt Morrison) about the TSA under Chertoff's direction requesting even more data on flyers that just simply FLY OVER the US (without even landing here) from places like Canada for instance. It's a little-heard-of program called SecureFlight. What do they want to know? Get this, union membership, sex-life, political opinions, books they read and even more along those lines! Good Lord!! Have these idiots no decency. Oh yeah, I forgot, this numskull is yet another unthinking intelligence-deficient Bush loyalist.

To say this is outrageous is an understatement of epic proportions! First off, what does ANY of that stuff have to do with someone being a potential terrorist on a plane? Isn't it already bad enough that ANYONE who buys a plane ticket is presumed to be a potential terrorist by these clowns to begin with? Haven't you dumba$$e$ ever heard of the 4th Amendment of the US Constitution or the Bill of Rights? So, if this gets any more out of hand, could I be put on a no-fly list for carrying ANY book that is critical of the Bush administration, for wearing the wrong T-shirt or unknowingly going against some unwritten airline dress code? For my opinions? I sure hope not, but if these clowns are continually given blank checks by Bush AND our gutless amoral congress, we are royally screwed. This is yet ANOTHER reason the Founding Fathers emphasized LIMITED government. If they were around now, I'm sure they'd be tearing Geaorge Dubbaya and his buddy The Penguin a new one.

And this Chertoff clown? I say send him on a one-way plane flight to Antarctica and LEAVE HIM THERE!! Because of the fact that he was a co-author of the illegal and immoral Patriot Act is all the more reason to banish him from the US altogether! I'm sure the penguins would befriend him pretty easily, being flightless birds and all. (quacking like The Penguin on Batman)

Tribute Albums - Worthwhile or Waste of Time?

Something that has gnawed at me for a while but finally I decided to vent on the subject, for good or ill.

In the last two decades or so, tribute albums (that is, albums by collections of various artists using another artists work as it's source material) have become oh so fashionable. But the very existence of these things begs a number of artistic and aesthetic questions I'm sure. Are "tribute albums" artistically valid and refreshing new looks at an artists work or just a grand display of laziness or a complete lack of respect for an artists work?

For me, I have, at best, VERY strong and VERY mixed feelings about these things. The thing that I just VEHEMENTLY DESPISE about 99.9% of tribute albums is the fact that they don't INTERPRET an artists work so much as mindlessly replicate it note-for-not, sound-for sound, even solo-for-solo where instrumentalists are concerned. A perfect example of this mindless copying is "Working Man" (pictured above), a Rush tribute album. Yes. I've listened to this thing (and I"m not even a Rush fan at all), and dang it, this thing is just outright POINTLESS!!! Each contributor just exactly mimics the original Rush record and adds NOTHING at all to the proceedings, good or bad, just rather indifferent. I've heard tribute albums for folks like The Eagles, Genesis, and GAG, even Britney Spears (not voluntarily mind you). THE SAME DANGED THING HAPPENS EVERY TIME, MINDLESS COPYING, not interpretation, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE PEOPLE!! If you want to hear the Eagles, Rush or (GAG) Brittney, GO BUY ONE OF THEIR RECORDS and don't waste your time and money with intellectually and creatively lazy xerox copiers. Sure, there's short-term money in them thar "copiers", but will they be remembered years hence? In a similar vein, you have these guys like Harry Connick Jr., Michael Buble' and their ilk trying to emulate Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett et al, and just falling flat on their faces with lifeless COPYING. Sorry guys, you just don't get it!!!

On the other hand, there are occasional gems where the spotlighted artist's work is INTERPRETED, that is filtered through another artists particular set of sensibilities, life experiences, perceptions etc. and the end result is something very uniquely different yet captures the spirit and heart of the original artist somehow. A few examples of this would include:

1) Livin', Lovin' Losin': Songs of the Louvin Brothers: Various Artists: A first class re-examination of the country singing duo, The Louvin Brothers and their unique work.

2) Amarcord Nino Rota: Various Artists A very creative and haunting look at film composer Nino Rota's Fellini film music by people as far flung as guitarist Bill Frissell and Blondie's Deborah Harry. Produced by Hal Willner, who this Owl holds in very high regard for his incredibly creative tribute projects. He's also helmed and facilitated unique re-examinations of the music of Disney, Kurt Weill, Charles Mingus and Thelonious Monk for example. One of Willner's trademarks is to have people completely outside the spotlight artist's realm of music altogether take a stab at reinterpretation (say for instance, Elvis Costello doing Charles Mingus), with often amazing results.

I'm sure that there are a good number out there that aspire to and reach the level of artistry that these two previously mentioned albums do, but sadly, they're still in the minority. The rest just seems to be a vast spewage of mindless copying, playing it too safe and cheap exploitation. I believe in some instances, that some things were just NOT meant to be copied or reinterpreted to start with. But hey, that's life, that's Hollywood, that's rock & roll, etc.

Friday Follies, Purloined Prose, Playground Taunts and-------

Yup, it's that time of the week again, the workday will wind down, the pubs and restaurants will do a booming business and folks will go somewhere for the weekend. And of course, your friendly neighborhood Owl will highlights some foibles, milestones, follies and oddities, like this for example:

1) Taking A Pointer From Abbie Hoffman: Some may recall that 60's radical/activist/author Abby Hoffman wrote a rather interesting volume called, "STEAL THIS BOOK" in 1971, a guide on how to virtually live for free. Well, in Frankfurt Germany, apparently some folks STILL take that to heart. The Frankfurt Book Fair has found a novel way of gauging best selling books by which ones get stolen the most from . They publish their un-official list every year. This time around, it was none other than Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth". You'd think if people were going to go out of their way to steal a book from a major annual multi-national publisher's convention they'd at least purloin something GOOD! Geez! More HERE

2) My Dad's More Conservative Than Yours-Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah: Meanwhile on the camPAIN trail (yes, the altered spelling is intentional), the Republican LID (Liberals In Denial) candidates seem to be descending towards the level of playground taunts in calling each other's "conservative credentials" into question (there's NO question in this Owl's mind that this bunch of weak mediocre neo-con nanny-state types have about as much to do with conservatism as building demolition does with brain surgery) . I shudder to think where these particular discussions will go next (more details HERE) All I can say is this, if you want to listen to and watch a REAL debate (as in one that deals with actual issues, no holds barred), watch the Canadian Prime Minister elections next time they come around. Those things get into actual discussion of issues, and get pretty heated too (almost borderline fisticuffs, a lot like Boston City Council meetings of decades past). Needless to say, Abe Lincoln AND Steve Douglas would have some pretty excoriating words for these mediocre statist clowns.

3) Last Of Their Breed: Legendary Scottish actress Deborah Kerr and the last Rat Pack-er, comedian Joey Bishop have departed the planet this week after long rich lives and bringing a smile to the faces of millions worldwide. RIP.

4) 3 Cheers For The Cos! : I thank God for people like Bill Cosby, who are not only great entertainers (my favorite TV show of his was his first Bill Cosby Show that ran from 1969-1971, a HILARIOUS look at the life of High School gym teacher Chet Kincaid as he dealt with hilarious situations and real issues) but really take an active interest in and want to do their part to improve the condition of the world around them. Bill's outspokenness on issues that deeply affect African-American society and the world at large do not go unnoticed or unappreciated by this Owl. Bill has been a tireless activist for a return to taking personal responsibility for one's own life, being responsible involved parents, being a life-long learner, being responsible to others and to stop blaming others for one's own self-inflicted problems. And he's joined an ever-growing chorus of total opposition to the vacuous, violence/misogyny/crime loving hip-hop/rap culture.

In short, what Bill's been saying all along flies right in the face of the divisive, race-baiting and victim-mentality perpetuating rhetoric of shysters like Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton. For that alone, Bill deserves a medal and a university founded in his honor. As you can bet, there's plenty of people out there that have latched onto what he's been saying, as well as some who would be quick to (quite WRONGLY) accuse him of "acting white" or "co-opting to The Man" (whoever this mysterious entity The Man is). Bill, in collaboration with Dr. Alvin Poussaint has written a wonderful new book called "Come On People". In this book, the two authors explore a number of issues and dilemmas vexing African-American society and examine a number of workable solutions (addressing area like parenting, education, discipline, and more), in addition to illustrating with true stories of people who have overcome adversities and found personal solutions to these dilemmas. One of the roots that seems to come up is the dilemma of mass hopelessness and perpetuation of the victim mentality, which shysters like Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson make big $$$$ from. This book is a challenge, a call-to-arms and a message of hope all in one volume, No matter what ethnicity you are, I HIGHLY recommend you read this!

5) Perusing the Osgood Files: I got turned onto this a few years ago while still living up North, before I'd hit the shower, I'd get to listen to a brief segment of commentary called The Osgood File, presided over by CBS newsman Charles Osgood. The coolness of The Osgood File lay in the fact that he would comment on a breaking or current news event and to top it off, more times than not, would devise an ofttimes HILARIOUS series of verses, poetic waxing or limerick-like coda to the story. He has now become, officially or otherwise, the CBS network's poet in residence. Check out his website, The Osgood File and you'll get to hear/read his up to the minute wit and prose.

And A Happy Friday To All!!!!

Antarctica - Next Frontier In The War On Terror?

Latest "Intelligence" Gathered

By Way of

"Rumors On The Internets"

(read in George Dubbaya voice)

"Well, it was uninevitable, while we were in Iraq, the penguins in the Antarctic have been in cahoots with Al Queda, hatching a plot to infilterate the US by way of our zoos. The Department of Homeland Security is now taking measures to secure our zoos and aquariums for all Americans, so from now on, ALL visitors to US zoos and aquariums will be required to wear special tracking bracelets to monitor their whereabouts during their visits. All penguins will be subject to interrogation upon entering the country too. Like I've said, our enemies are innovative and resourceful, So are we. They constantly think of ways to attack and harm our people, so will we.

At the same time, I am calling on Congress to act quickly and indecisively, I am asking for full funding and authority to invade Antarctica, in the hope of stopping this new threat before it makes its way to our shores. If we are successful, we won't run the risk of a successful attack. We hope, for the good of all Antarctica that a new democratic government will be installed soon after. It'll be schlock and awe I tell ya.

It WILL NOT be a pointless quagmire, it WILL NOT be a repeat of Viet Nam. If anything, I hope it'll be a---, that is--I hope I, uuhhhh----- won't repeat myself. "

Random Tuesday Stuff

1) Dumba$$ Rapper Bust Bonanza: When it rains it pours folks, these rappers just can't get through a week without having to prove to the world at large their complete lack of upbringing, intelligence and self-control. This was a bonanza week alright;

a) TI, an Atlanta-based purveyor of busted rhymes just landed himself in Federal custody for possession of 3 unregistered MACHINE GUNS and two silencers, not to mention possession of weapons by a convicted felon charges (he was already once in prison on serious drug charges). Irony of ironies, he was arrested just hours before he was supposed to receive a BET award for his latest collection of busted rhymes about such heartwarming subjects as guns, killing whites and po-leece, degrading women and doing lots of drugs. More details HERE. The smart money says that he wasn't exactly going deer hunting in upstate New York.

b) Sean P-Diddy Combs: Meanwhile in NYC, this guy AGAIN gets himself busted for assault at a Manhattan nightclub. Geez, this guy keeps repeating the same crime over and over again, not an original thought in the guy's head, just like his lame albums that rip off EVERYONE in varying degrees. Wondering if he'll repeat his usual pattern of changing his name every time he gets busted for something? More lurid details HERE

c) Foxy Brown: This one is darn near comical!!! She's just racking 'em up like a pool hustler, assault (violently throwing her cell phone at anieghbor who had a legitimate complaint about her car stereo's excessive volume), skipping court mandated anger-management classes, not showing up for hearings, probation violations revolving around a violent incident at a manicurists shop 3 years previous, not to mention other violent incidents. She's currently serving a year in NY's Riker's Island prison. Worse yet, she's planning to relase another disc of busted rhymes this November, Can't wait---------. She sounds like a real peach. More HERE

EDITED TO ADD: A very worthy opinion piece from AJC columnist Cynthia Tucker that pulls no punches can be read HERE.

2) We Grows 'Em Big In These Parts: After nearly 2 years of embarrassing delays and other plot twists, Aerospatiale' is finally rolling out their new super-jumbo jet The Airbus 380! Their first customer to take delivery was Singapore Air, and I'm sure more to follow. This new entry into the long-range airliner arena is the first to have a double deck layout with the capability to accommodate up to 525 people in standard 3-class seating and 853 people if the whole plane is Coach class. And yes, it actually dwarfs a 747. Powered by 4 outrageously huge and powerful (yet unbelievably quiet as jet engines go) Rolls-Royce Trent 900 or Engine Alliance GP7000 engines, this huge bird lifts off with more grace and ease than most people would think. Watch one take off HERE (LOVE the sound of those engines!)

ON THE PLAYER

Happy The Man (1977)

This largely instrumental gem from 1977 has been in my collection in some form or other since it was first released. This insanely talented fivesome from Harrisonburg VA first met at James Madison University in the early 70's. And yes, the music is as colorful and surreal as the cover. Happy The Man really were one of the last from the original 70's progressive rock era to have a sound uniquely their own, combining elements of jazz, late 19th/early 20th century classical music, rock and music from Saturday morning cartoons (and you think I'm kidding, take a listen to pieces like "Stumpy Meets The Firecracker In Stencil Forest" dang, these guys must've got some real good mushrooms that day). The pieces can feature unexpected twists and turns, navigating perilous time and meter changes, crazed saxophones, angular guitars, colorful keyboards, while going from dream-like pastel beauty ("Starborne", a song that I'll long remember as I once enjoyed a very beautiful romantic moment to it with a woman I fiercely loved) to HILARIOUS cartoon-like mayhem ("Knee Bitten Nymphs In Limbo") and unpredictable little mini-suites (the songs on here are by prog-rock standards, fairly short). My personal favorite is "NY Dreams Suite" which closes the album, runs from a whimsical beginning to a HILARIOUSLY frenetic cartoon chase-scene like section to close with an emotion charged ending of sublime beauty that at least will have you misty-eyed. The only "weak" tracks here are the 2 with vocals, but even then the instrumental portion is STILL good. Check these guys out at their website: http://www.happytheman.com/

The Last Piece Of The Puzzle

It's been a while since I did a progress report on the completion of the CD, "Guaranteed To Be 100% Free of Hit Singles". Well, at this stage of the game, I was able to hire the services of drummer/percussionist Philip Hart of Atlanta progressive.psychedelic/world band Z-Axis on Saturday afternoon. After clearing out a utility room in the house, and running all manner of cables back and forth plus mic-ing, Phil came over all ready to do his thing . Just one odd twist in the plot, poor guy's cymbals were still back at his house in McDonough GA. D'OH!!!!! After wincing at the near inevitability of driving back to McDonough in murderous Atlanta traffic again, the inconvenience was avoided courtesy of my good friends Eric and Gordon at Earthshaking Music nearby, who fixed Phil up with a nice package of rented cymbals at a very reasonable price. Returning a short time later, Phil and I set to work on laying in the drum tracks for "Just What Did My Royalties Pay For?"

Three takes later, we had a winner, and as if that wasn't enough, Phil then suggested overdubbing some percussion, and he did an additional 5 tracks of gongs, wood windchimes, spring drum and cymbals. A couple quick punch-ins were added to other portions of the song and we could safely say "Mission Accomplished". The recordings came out crisp and clear (a live room with hardwood floors is a big plus!).

I was so proud of Phil's professionalism and easy-going manner, he was more than worth the session fee and a few Corona's! I'll DEFINITELY be calling Phil in for future recordings!

All that remains to be done with this track is to lay in the remaining 3 guitar tracks and mix it all down.

Woody Says It's Friday

(Cue in Woody Woodpecker laugh here).

It's Friday, and has ANYTHING unusual happened? Hmm, let's see:

a) Last I checked, George Dubbaya is STILL a moron, this week, he gets the hair-brained notion that we need to extend the Protect America Act (an UNNECESSARY piece of Orwellian legislation that our gutless, amoral and unprincipled Congress rushed through in August 2007 at the behest of our Smiling Idiot in Chief) permanently, and get this, that telecom firms should be immune from prosecution or lawsuit for blatantly violating existing surveillance/search seizure laws. Hey George, you ever heard of the 4th Amendment of The US Constitution. Oh, that's right, I forgot, when they were teaching about the 4th Amendment in school, George probably locked himself in the janitor's closet on a dare, or was sitting in acorner with a dunce cap in Health class and they forgot to tell him class was dismissed. Story HERE

b) Obligatory dumbass rapper gets arrested for more thuggery (L'il Wayne).

Naaah, nothing out of the ordinary.

BUT WAIT---------------------!!!

1) Ain't It Ironic #510: That one-woman sappy love ballad machine Diane Warren (whose gloppy, overwrought songs have been inflicted on us by Chicago, Cher, Michael Bolton, Celine Dion, Aerosmith and countless others, even that HORRID theme song to Star Trek; ENTERPRISE) has a RAGING aversion to dating, never been married and has NEVER been in love!!!! OK Diane, when you write those words, just WHERE are you getting your information from anyway?

2) An Inconvenient Cold Snap (or Hell Freezes Over Again): I can just hear the sound of demons sharpening up their skate blades and tying those laces. The reason? None other than Al Gore, Mr. "I Took The Initiative In Creating The Internet" "There Was No Controlling Legal Authority" has won a Nobel Peace Prize (also being shared with some UN commission) for his work concerning global warming. Hoo boy! The same hypocritical junk-science monger who writes scientifically fallacious books, the one who demands that everyone "go green" while he himself drives a gas guzzling SUV and lives in a mansion that burns up more electricity and gas in one MONTH than most people do in a year. The one who can't even keep his grandiose boasts and lies straight, much less his facts!?? Just in principle I consider this a grand display of extreme stupidity and ignorance! It just ain't fair, this charlatan gets a prestigious prize for spewing a bunch of ultra-leftist fear-mongering propaganda, and the guy who invented duct/gaffer's tape has NEVER gotten the proper recognition that he deserves. The story HERE

3) One Who Dares To Tell The Truth: Ayaan Hirsi Ali may not exactly be a household name on these shores yet, but she should be. This is one courageous soul who at considerable risk to her very life, has acted on her conscience and dared to speak out against the Islamic religion she once professed. Among other things, she has taken Islam to task for its gross misogyny and hatred of women and its love of violence against those who choose not to embrace its teachings. Her 2006 book "Infidel" goes into great detail from the perspective of someone who has been there. FWIW, I for one am NOT buying all the politically correct baloney about Islam being a religion of peace and that Islamic terrorists are "misinterpreting" the Q'ran. Quite to the contrary, they're following it to the letter and that Islam and terrorism have been sleeping in the same bed from Day One!

4) Goodbye Bill O'Reilly: I just don't know what to do with this guy. On the one hand, he can make a good point about an issue when he sets his mind to it, but on the other hand, I find him to be an egotistical arrogant blowhard who shoots himself in the foot time and time again (a lot like Rush Limbaugh) and who is far too in love with the sound of his own voice. If you watch his No Spin Zone program with any regularlity, you'll more than likely notice that Bill JUST NEVER SHUTS UP!! He NEVER allows a guest to get half a word in edgewise or any other way. O'Reilly claims to be all for intelligent debate and DISCUSSION (which by definition is at least a 2-way street), but this arrogant blowhard just insists on shouting down his guests if they disagree with him even in the slightest. Of course, being employed by Fox News (the George Dubbaya Network, just like CNN came to be known as The Clinton News Network), Bill is just one of Bush's biggest and most obnoxious unthinking cheerleaders. A PERFET example of O'Reilly's hypocrisy can be found in THIS CLIP where he gets all hot under the collar about famous people who call George Dubbaya dumb because he contends that it "coarsens public discourse" but at the same time, Bill goes into "attack and shout-down mode" doing the very thing he claims to be against. And THIS CLIP with Ron Paul is a rare example of grace under pressure, Ron kept his cool while O'Reilly viciously attacks him for not agreeing with him verbatim. These are only two of NUMEROUS examples of O'Reilly's out-of-control vicious bulldog "I'm Always Right, You're Always Wrong" pseudo-journalism. To think, I used to like this O'Reilly guy. NEVER AGAIN!

5) The Beauty of The "B": For as long as I can remember, I have been enamored of the sound of the Hammond organ in its many forms. From smoky and mysterious to soulful to searing, this wonderful 400+ pound beast of wood, keys, clockworks, tubes and wires (invented by Laurens Hammond in 1934 originally intended as a replacement for pipe organs) has provided both backdrops and vivid musical landscapes in many settings, from soulful jazz and blues (Jimmy Smith and Brother Jack McDuff for example), exotica/lounge (Korla Panditt, Lenny Dee) rock (Procul Harum, Deep Purple, Traffic, ELP) and the odd soap opera and horror/sci-fi flick. not to mention a VOLUMINOUS glut of organ records from the 50's and 60's. The Hammond company turned out a dizzying variety of these wonderful instruments, but the ones they're most famous for are the B and C series of drawbar organs. There's NOTHING quite like a Hammond And if you want to hear a Hammond being absolutely COMICAL, listen to THIS (in Real Audio format), the end credit music from the movie "Monty Python and The Holy Grail, it's CLASSIC!!!

Hammond B-3 Organ

Happy Friday Y'all!!!!

Sony Going Over The Edge This Time

Sony, STILL one of THE DUMBEST corporations that has ever existed in any realm of business is shooting itself in the foot yet again (something they do with alarming regularity).

In it's ever increasing determination to completely alienate its ever dwindling customer base and treat them like criminals, Jennifer Pariser, the head of litigation for Sony/BMG said, during a downloading case in Duluth MN that customers have no legal right to store music onto their PC's hard drive at all, which is completely contrary to existing "Fair Use" laws. In reality, it just smacks of another desperate attempt by Sony to exert undue control over all known media, rip people off and worse yet, refuse to acknowledge that customer tastes and needs have changed, and more so, a failure to admit that Sony products just ain't worth the sledgehammer to smash them with. Of course, all this coming from a company whose many transgressions involve price fixing, payola, sneakily installing root-kit spyware on people's computers. My viewpoint on Sony has NOT changed one iota, that Sony are a bunch of clueless morons who deserve to go out of business.

But then again, I would urge people, if you've REALLY had enough of Sony's shenanigans, take EVERY Sony product you own, sledgehammer it into as many pieces as possible, then mail the remains directly to Sony with as nasty a note as you care to write, and don't buy any more of their over-priced crap.

Well anyway, read more of the sorry saga HERE.

Random Monday Madness

1) Potential Lesson From The Bush Presidency #21:
One thing we should SERIOUSLY consider is the institution and enforcement of Minimum Competency Standards for those who seek to hold high office, ESPECIALLY the presidency. As we've seen these past few years, the US Presidency is NO PLACE for intellectual lightweights, weak, unprincipled vacuous dolts with lots of money like George Dubbaya! Anyone who seeks to run should be thoroughly tested and their fitness to even think about holding office should be determined by that. The American people deserve nothing less than to have a chief executive that has something resembling a brain. This Owl opines that when the brains were being passed out, George Dubbaya was still standing in line for an appendix.

2) Regarding Hollywood Remakes of Older Movies: What's with you guys? Didn't they do it right the first time? Or are you just too lazy to think of something original?

3) Bizarre Ironies # 7534: In the small burg of Luthersville GA (population approx 800), the town's 3-person police force just got cut down to one, no thanks to a complete IDJIOT for a police chief getting himself busted for rape, false imprisonment, violation of oath of office and several other charges, in addition to the town's only other officer (who got a couple charges levied at him, and consequently resigned). That leaves one officer Matt Morgan to keep the peace in Luthersville. Considering all this he's handling it remarkably well and he's only been a cop for 2 years, talk about a hell of a steep learning curve! I'd say Officer Morgan must have the patience of a saint or close to it. Thankfully, he does have some help from the county sherrif's department. And by some people's reckoning, Officer Morgan is doing a far better job than BOTH of the idjiots who got themselves busted. There's even talk of formally disbanding the Luthersville PD and having the Sheriff's office take over, not a bad idea methnks. More of the story HERE



4) The Latest in Low Budget Law Enforcement: It may not be very good on high-speed chases, but for pursuing suspects on riding mowers or tractors it's great, not to mention just perfect for busting up keg parties (gotta love those dramatic entrances)! Oh, and watch out for hostile moonshiners and angry hawks.

Further Evidence That Stupid Might Be Contagious - Ted Stevens

Alaska Senator Ted Stevens may be further proof that ineptness and utterly COMICAL stupidity can be contagious , at least if the carrier is one George Dubbaya Bush. This ooohhh so erudite head of the Commerce, Science & Transportation Committee on June 28, 2006 was caught on tape attempting to speak about an amendment to the Net Neutrality Bill, and in the process created one of the greatest comedy classics of all-time! This being, his hopelessly inept, rambling and utterly pointless discourse attempting to illustrate the Internet as "A series of tubes". (HUH??????!!!!) Listen HERE , it's just pathetic beyond words!

I'd say this man has had quite a checkered career, as he's under Federal investigation in a number of matters involving BIG BUCKS, bribes from lobbyists, a seafood company, and the infamous "Bridge to Nowhere" project that Alaska's governor 86-ed, among other things.

For just about everything you ever wanted to know about this kooky intelligence and ethics-challenged senator from the frozen white North, I refer you to this Wikipedia article. Caution, major coffee/soda spewage on your keyboard may ensue

The Friday Follies Republicans AND Democrats Didn't Want You To See!

Man this week sure flew by, didn't it?

In any case, here's more oddities, obscurities, rants, foibles and other sights and sounds for your dining and dancing pleasure!

1) This Should Be The Offical Seal of The Democratic Party: I got the Republicans last week, NOW IT'S YOUR TURN, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!:

2) Another Literally Unsung Guitar Slinger - Dennis Coffey: While not exactly a household word, Dennis Coffey a native of Detroit MI, came up through the ranks of Motown's famous studio band The Funk Brothers and added his distinct cutting, psychedelic and wah-wah enhanced sound and riffs to MANY Motown classics from the late 60's to early 70's (just before Motown relocated to L.A.). In 1972, Dennis had a monstrous hit single of his own, a funky, grooving, catchy and psychedelic instrumental called "Scorpio" (it actually got to #6 on the Billboard charts that year). It sounded almost like a deranged deconstruction of the Batman theme but with the funkiest rhythm section you ever heard in your life (it was The Funk Brothers BTW, christened for the single and the "Evolution" album as The Detroit Guitar Band), in fact, the middle drum/percussion breakdown has been sampled by NUMEROUS hip-hop folks (most famously on Young MC's hilarious "Bust A Move", about the only rap tune I could ever listen to). Dennis' wall-of-guitars sound was like no other at the time. The album "Evolution" (recorded on the now long gone Sussex label in late 1971) didn't sell much, at first. Then, in Detroit, a number of discos and dance clubs were playing the track "Scorpio" and people started to register their enthusiastic approval on the local dance floors. Before long, in early 1972, Sussex released "Scorpio" as a single and it caught on nationwide (I would jump for joy every time that song came on New York's WABC AM when I was but a lad of 12). Amazing to me that I actually lived to see an era where cool instrumentals could get radio airplay and become hits, I sure do miss that!

Dennis continued to release albums as a solo artist (platters like "Going For Myself", "Instant Coffey", "Finger Lickin' Good" among others) and did more sessions, even doing the score for a hilarious blaxploitation flick called "Black Belt Jones". He lived in L.A. for a time but eventually moved back to his native Detroit. These days, if you happen to swing through Detroit, you can catch Dennis laying down the funk at venues like Baker's Keyboard Lounge

And better still, Dennis has written a book about his experiences at Motown and beyond, the honest, insightful and many times HILARIOUS "Guitars, Bars and Motown Superstars".

Finally, check out Dennis' website HERE for all the latest!

3) Alternatives To The iPod: We all know that Apple was the company that really got the digital music revolution up and roaring with the iPod (although other companies had made attempts earlier but with none of the success). Many people swear by the Apple iPod now that some of the thornier issues seem to have been ironed out (short battery life being among them). Still, the iPod has other issues, and for me the most odious one is the fact you CAN'T replace the battery yourself, you have to send it in to Apple and pay some outrageous amount of money for it. No thanks, I'd rather do it myself for a fraction of that. Plus, other mp3/digital file players for the most part are compatible with far more download sites, not just iTunes. What brands are worthwhile? Personally, I'd recommend Creative, Phillips and San-Disk, but steer clear of ANYTHING made by Sony, RCA (just pure JUNK!) and cheap off-brands. Microsoft has an iPod rival called Zune, but personally, I don't support Microsoft any more than I have to.

One of the obvious benefits with non-Apple players, you can change your own batteries! Only one real drawback, accesories for non-Apple players are a bit hard to come by still. One user's perspective HERE

4) Pointless Legislation #3312: This is an actual law on the books in Chico CA, and I quote: "Detonation of a nuclear device within city limits shall result in a $500 fine" For more sidesplitting legislative lunacy, take a few minutes and visit, http://www.dumblaws.com/ . Oh CRAP!! I hope they didn't see me eating peanuts in church! And another thing, DO NOT shoot at moving targets from your car, unless it's a whale!

5) Pointless Legislation #3313: According to a recent AP report, in Coral Springs Florida, circa 1975, a law was passed that required businesses to inform customers (by means of signage) if that shop sold products made in Communist countries. Thing was, NOBODY even bothered to enforce it! At this point, a vote is about to be taken to repeal this ridiculous statute.

6) Why No Bush Rant In This Friday Follies?: Very simple, George Dubbaya hasn't pulled anything as outrageously stupid this week as in previous weeks, it's not even registering on the Stupid Meter right now, but there IS always next week, stay tuned. Being a genius at being stupid sure takes a lot out of a guy I guess.

7) RE; Larry Craig: Looks like Sen. Craig is NOT having a good week, his pathetic attempt at withdrawing his guilty plea was struck down by a judge (THANK GOD!) and not only that , he withdrew his offer to resign (BAD MOVE!). Weell Larry, how are people going to miss you if you won't go away quietly in the first place?

8) The GOP NEEDS To Change It's Name: And it should be changed to LID, which stands for Liberals In Denial.

PS: Extra bonus cool points to ANYBODY who can guess what the bicycle-powered contraption at the top of this post is....

HAPPY FRIDAY ONE AND ALL!

Orwellian or What? TSA Has Gone Too Far This Time!

Just as you think the TSA can't get any more odious and intrusive, they now deploy what are known as Behavior Detection Officers in airports. Their job, single out people who "don't look right", in other words, you could be detained for any of the following "offenses", visible nervousness, not making enough eye contact or any suspect facial expressions that could be the result of that person being apotential terroist. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAVE WE COME TO???? HAVE WE REALLY GOTTEN THIS STUPID?? Do I have to paint on a smile just because some dimwit is trying to impress their boss with how many people they can harass or pull aside for "not looking right" or being a "suspicious character"?

We hear that it's the latest weapon in the war on terror, but personally, I beg to differ. Since 9/11, under the aegis of the Bush Administration's utterly ass-backwards "War On Terror", it's actually creating more insecurity, stress and paving the way for all kinds Orwellian nastiness. Good Lord, am I going to find myself being arrested and ruthlessly interrogated just because I don't smile enough or somehow "don't look right"?

I'm glad to see I'm not the only person taking issue with this kind of insanity and blatant assault on the Constitutional rights of American citizens (You arrogant dolts in the TSA, ever heard of the Fourth Amendment? Ever actually bothered to read it?). Check out this opinion piece by Patti Davis and more thoughts by Bob Barr, plus an article in the Seattle Times.

Yet another compelling case for the impeachment of George Dubbaya!

Dates From Hell Recorded for Posteriority

Dates From Hell

Strange and harrowing at times, but ALL true stories of dates gone wrong, from mildly amusing to something from a bad horror movie (or close to it). I first encountered these two books in the mid '90's and my sides were splitting!

These horror stories were lovingly compiled by Katherine Ann Samon. Among two of my favorites are:

1) The one where a woman meets this guy for dinner and he starts conducting the date like a job interview.

2) Another where a guy meets a pretty attorney for dinner, As the nnight went on, the pretty attorney started growing fangs and claws as she proudly boasted about all these different things she could legally do to financially ruin people and make their lives a living hell. Needless to say, our poor male protaganist rapidly lost his appetite.

More Dates From Hell

If you need a good laugh to fill up your time, try these 2 volumes out, they are indeed sidesplitting!

Jack Cafferty, The BLUNT Voice Of Reason at CNN

Sometimes I wonder if Jack Cafferty and I were separated at birth. No, we don't look alike in the slightest, but I do like where this guy is coming from. IN other words, one of the EXTREMELY FEW people in mainstream US media that isn't afraid to speak his mind, be it ever so bluntly. And more so, one of the VERY few that is NEITHER an unthinking tool of the Bush Administration nor is he owned by the Dumb-O-Crats. In fact, he takes square aim at BOTH of these useless and parasitic institutions. What Jack stands for is a return to common sense, honesty, corrective action, integrity and values. In his own words, "I get paid to ask questions I don't know the answers to and to complain about the things that bother me." Jack is a rare breed, a curmudgeon with a heart.

I just got his new book "It's Getting Ugly Out There" in which he unleashes his best satirical barbs at the utterly incompetent, amoral and unprincipled Republicans AND the power/control-hungry Democrats and their roundabout Socialism. Thus far, it's VERY enjoyable reading that has had me yowling RIGHT ON BROTHER!!! But he doesn't just merely throw quills, one of his aims is to stir the reader to deeper thought and to fight back at the rampant stupidity that has seized our government and society. Opinionated as hell? DEFINITELY, and I like it like that!!! Will I agree with EVERYTHING he says, not by a long shot but I do admire him for speaking his mind and making ZERO apologies for it. Have to admit, one thing that got me ticked though was CNN pressuring him into apologizing for "going over the line" in correctly labeling Donald Rumsfeld a war criminal. Jack was in fact right on the money all along. I'll take Jack's sheer honesty, humor and bluntness over Rush Limbaugh's pompous hypocrisy any day of the week.


If you get the chance, catch him on CNN's The Situation Room during the week.