Latest "Intelligence" Gathered By Way of
"Rumors On The Internets"
(read in George Dubbaya voice)
"Well, it was uninevitable, while we were in Iraq, the penguins in the Antarctic have been in cahoots with Al Queda, hatching a plot to infilterate the US by way of our zoos. The Department of Homeland Security is now taking measures to secure our zoos and aquariums for all Americans, so from now on, ALL visitors to US zoos and aquariums will be required to wear special tracking bracelets to monitor their whereabouts during their visits. All penguins will be subject to interrogation upon entering the country too. Like I've said, our enemies are innovative and resourceful, So are we. They constantly think of ways to attack and harm our people, so will we.At the same time, I am calling on Congress to act quickly and indecisively, I am asking for full funding and authority to invade Antarctica, in the hope of stopping this new threat before it makes its way to our shores. If we are successful, we won't run the risk of a successful attack. We hope, for the good of all Antarctica that a new democratic government will be installed soon after. It'll be schlock and awe I tell ya.
It WILL NOT be a pointless quagmire, it WILL NOT be a repeat of Viet Nam. If anything, I hope it'll be a---, that is--I hope I, uuhhhh----- won't repeat myself. "
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