Something Different - One Nation Under An Owl

Somehow, due to a writers block and/or lack of anything worthy of ridicule this week, The Friday Follies will not appear today, but will be back next week at its regularly scheduled time.

However,, inspired by, of all things, an article on CMT.com by music journalist Chet Filipo titled "If I Ran Nashville" (highly recommended reading BTW), I will venture forth with "One Nation Under An Owl" (or If I Ran The USA). and here's what I'm a fixin' to do if it were EVER to come about:

1) Bring Back Law and Order to Washington, NOT lawlessness and incompetence that currently overruns Washington. First on the agenda would be to restore the checks and balances called for in the US Constitution. This would involve breaking out a new VETO stamp every so often (not for gratuitous vetoes mind you, but at least Ronald Reagan had the right idea of using it when needed, and often). It would also involve severely curtailing a vast amount of power that the Bush administration has erroneously conferred on itself, in short the office of Presidency is NOT a license to do anything one wants with complete impunity. ANY repeat of the Bush or Nixon administrations is just plain UNACCEPTABLE! There will be NO MORE signing statements (as I believe this violates the oath of office to "faithfully execute the laws of the land" and "protect and defend the Constitution". I would make absolutely certain that ALL signing statements done under the Bush Reign of Terror were rescinded for good. I would then approach Congress with legislation to make signing statements ILLEGAL! Supreme Court justices would be selected on the basis of adherence to Constitutional principles, NOT personal loyalty or an activist agenda. Same would apply to appointing an Attorney General. Personally, I would rather appoint someone I never knew in my entire life (to minimize the possibility of personal loyalty getting in the way of impartially enforcing the laws of the land) yet had good strong moral and Constitution based principles. I would also lobby hard to make it a criminal offense (under penalty of removal from office) to make "recess appointments", a tactic that George Dubbaya used quite often to put grossly incompetent and unqualified people in positions they had NO business being in at all. NO MORE under this Owl's watch. And finally, I would have George Dubbaya arrested and put on trial (along with his buddy The Penguin and Donnie Dumbsfeld) for abuse of power, repeated violations of the Constitution, invading a sovereign nation under false and deceptive pretenses and conspiracy to commit treason (regarding the Dubai Ports World deal). There would be NO PARDON issued for this bunch of war criminals . These three clowns would get their choice of banishment from the US altogether or going in front of a firing squad or the gallows, to be televised nationally.

2) Law and Order Part 2 - LAWYERS BEWARE!: The death penalty would be reinstated nationwide for the following crimes with NO exceptions: Murder, Kidnapping, Rape, Child Molestation, Armed Robbery, Home Invasion, Treason, Membership in a terrorist organization, street gang or Mafia family and production/distribution of Meth, Cocaine and Heroin. Next would be a MAJOR crackdown on the law profession and its numerous abuses, There will be NO MORE loopholes or technicalities, ALL evidence will be admissible, period! Criminal defense lawyers will be compelled by law to present an honest and TRUTHFUL defense, or face a MANDATORY 10 years in jail and permanent revocation of their law license(s) for perjury, obstruction of justice and being an accessory to a crime after the fact. Likewise, prosecuting attorneys will be compelled to present a TRUTHFUL case under similar penalties. It will ALSO be a MAJOR FELONY to file a frivolous lawsuit, the perpetrator AND their lawyer both will be charged with extortion, fraud and/or blackmail, and both will face a MINIMUM of 10 years in prison (plus the lawyer will lose their law license FOREVER! NO EXCEPTIONS!) . Also, in law schools. ALL students will be REQUIRED to take personal ethics training and learn proper social behavior and proper courtroom behavior, or else, NO FREAKING LICENSE, PERIOD!. And I think its high time we untie the hands of our police and STOP criminalizing them as is the typical unthinking liberal thing to do. They need support and the freedom to do their primary job, which is protect and serve.

3) Bring In The Cranes: With a wrecking ball attachment that is! This government in its present form is FAR TOO BIG AND INTRUSIVE, completely contrary to what the Founding Fathers laid out. So, this Owl would ELIMINATE FOREVER the following useless bureaucracies to start (I'm sure there'll be more):

• Department of Homeland Security: A useless money-wasting abomination is just a few steps from becoming our version of the KGB or the Gestapo. It's Orwellian tactics and such will NO LONGER BE TOLERATED in a free society. We have an FBI and a CIA already and they darn well better learn to do their job efficiently and with actual intelligence.
  


• Department of Education: The states alone should be handling this end of it WITHOUT unnecessary interference, micromanaging or agenda pushing from the Feds.



• The IRS: I'm squarely with Neal Boortz and the Fair Tax crowd on this one! This corrupt organization wastes so much money, causes headaches for EVERYONE and can't even make sense of its own hopelessly convoluted tax code that by itself is inherently unfair to all. I'm all for a flat rate "sales tax" of sorts but NEVER AGAIN must we perpetuate an inherently Communistic idea like our current tax system that confiscates people's earnings and throws them down the drain to boot.
  


• The Electoral College: An idea whose time has long gone!
  

In general, I am a HUGE advocate of states rights and allowing them to make local decisions as necessary.

4) Get Out and Stay Out!! - Part One: In order to regain our sovereignty as a country, I would pull us out of the UN in no time flat. And to make it VERY official, I would have that worthless UN building RAZED and imploded, have it shown on national TV an declare that day a national holiday! The UN is good for nothing except appeasing and acquiescing to ruthless dictators and trying to form a one-world government. I'll also have us pull out of ALL treaties like NAFTA and the like.

5) Get Out and Stay Out!! - Part Two: The illegal immigration issue has clearly shown just how GUTLESS and unprincipled both the Republicans and Democrats are! I'd have us sealing up our borders, and cracking down but good! Illegal immigrants with criminal records would be the first to be PERMANENTLY deported. And ANY company that hires illegal labor would be PUNISHED SEVERELY! We CAN'T go on like we have, we've got to say NO MORE!!! We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore! NO AMNESTY, NO EXCEPTIONS, NO EXCUSES!

6) Give Our Armed Forces A Fighting Chance: It ENRAGES me what both the Clinton and Bush administrations have done to our armed forces, namely cut them down to a bare minimum level, left them ill-equipped and hurt their morale. We need a strong DEFENSE (NOT an intervention force but a DEFENSIVE force above all). We need to have more than adequate troop strength and up-to-the-minute technology to enable our men and women in uniform to defend us when the occasion calls. It might mean reinstating a draft of some sort for a time, hopefully it wouldn't come to that unless we were attacked like in WWII. I'd have us rebuilding our armed forces to a state of readiness should we be attacked again. Personally, I would NOT tolerate the idea of invading a foreign nation in pre-emptive fashion without just cause nor will I tolerate the idea of nation-building and trying to impose or values where they are not wanted. Clinton, Gore, Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld should ALL be hanging their heads in shame (and they should also be hanged, period) for the mess they've made of our armed forces and foreign policy. And once we have a robust set of armed forces again, I think we should MERCILESSLY punish those responsible for 9/11, namely Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Afghanistan, something that George Dubbaya was just too much of a brainless coward to do.

7) We Don't Need Your Damned Oil Anymore!: We definitely need to take a lesson from Brazil, starting with an ambitious piece of legislation (sorry folks, there is just no other way, as our gutless Congress and last two sorry excuses for Presidents have shown), Brazil went to bio-fuels and now, ten years later is in the position to tell Arab oil producers and the like to get lost! I personally would insist on attacking this dilemma on a number of fronts, namely giving tax-breaks and necessary help to push along alternate energy research and production (bio fuels, fuel cells, hydrogen, solar, wind, fusion etc). The oil companies need to get smart, start thinking ahead, and the government should no longer give them handouts and a free pass. they've either got to smarten up and branch out or they'll face the wrath of a lot of people who are sick of being lied to and ripped off. We need to become completely energy self-sufficient, and be able to tell Saudi Arabia to go screw themselves, they've done it to us long enough!

8) Get Out and Stay Out!! - Part 3: One doesn't need much convincing that the Bush foreign policy and a fair amount that came before it has been a miserable failure. The Founding Fathers had it right all along. Their take, trade with other nations, be their friend (if they'll have us) BUT DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN THEIR INTERNAL AFFAIRS, EVER!!! AVOID ENTANGLING FOREIGN ALLIANCES. This "interventionist/nation building" delusional nonsense has blown up in our faces many times over, propping up ruthless dictators like The Shah of Iran, Saddam Hussein, Manuel Noriega, Augusto Pinochet and not to mention supporting Osama Bin Laden in the late 70's/early 80's among others. Some would call it isolationist, but I disagree. It's called being smart, something the Democrats AND Republicans know NOTHING about. America First!

9) Bring Our Jobs Back Home: What more needs to be said? This outsourcing of jobs to foreign countries is just plain WRONG, shortsighted and detrimental to our overall economy. Companies should have the incentive to keeping jobs here. Liberals take note, your EXCESSIVE taxation and overkill regulation is driving business out of the country, GET A CLUE!! CEO's, GET A BRAIN and start thinking long-term, and get your damn hands out of the cookie jar young man or there'll be a spanking and NO dinner for you! Personally, I would call for more pro-business initiatives, of all sizes. Along with it, the need for companies to be good corporate citizens is all too clear, we CANNOT HAVE another Enron or the likes of it!

10) Tax Cut AND Spend Cut!!: Self-explanatory, cut WASTEFUL unnecessary spending, allow people to keep what they earn (investment and such will surely follow), You can;t have one without the other. Tax increases have a nasty way of grinding the economy to a halt! What George Dubbaya FAILED to do (among many things) was cut spending and use his VETO stamp when he needed to, allowing Congress to spend recklessly! NO MORE! Although he was not able to put government spending increases into negative numbers (after all, who could?), Ronald Reagan had a MAJOR victory in the LOWEST increase of government spending EVER during his presidency (about 3.6% IIRC) despite loyal opposition.

11) Take Back Our Second Amendment Rights!! Liberals, we've tried it your way and it HAS NOT worked! You Republicans and your mediocre wimpy neo-con trip have failed miserably too! A secure nation is an ARMED one! EVERY citizen is given the right to bear arms by the Second Amendment of the Bill of Rights (but I do agree that SOME individuals should NOT be allowed to own weapons, namely those with a history of mental illness and/or a criminal record). In any case, we need to strike back at the criminal element. I would propose a law once and for all reinstating Second Amendment rights, AND as part of it, a national "Stand Your Ground Law" that says that if your well-being or that of your loved ones is threatened by a criminal/intruder, that you have EVERY right to protect yourself by ANY means necessary, INCLUDING lethal force without fear of prosecution or lawsuit. Personally, i think its time we bought back some SERIOUS frontier justice! It's about time we got mean as hell with the criminal element and start putting a lot of these degenerate punks 6 feet under! Its about time we untied the hands of our police and started letting them give these punks the thrashing they deserve! I'd also move to overturn the Miranda ruling and start taking away some of these so-called "rights" that shyster lawyers think that criminals should have. No more country club jails! NO MORE TECHNICALITIES!!!

12) Start Respecting The First Amendment Too!: Just one example, I am so ticked at how the Republicans AND Democrats monopolize and control public discourse and do not allow other parties and persuasions to have a voice. What is wrong with these mediocre morons that they don't allow people like the Libertarians or the Constitution Party to participate in the democratic process? The Constitution DOES NOT even mandate political parties in the first place! I CANNOT ACCEPT THIS! The two-party system MUST GO!!

13) Start Respecting The Fourth Amendment As Well!: Both the Nixon AND second Bush administrations will go down in history as being the most paranoid and contemptuous of the Bill of Rights ever, especially when it comes to the 4th Amendment of the Bill of Rights. I WILL NOT tolerate things like warrantless surveillance/spying and wiretapping against US citizens. I WILL NOT TOLERATE capricious J Edgar Hoover like tactics being exacted against those who hold different views and WILL NOT TOLERATE the capricious abuse and misuse of personal/confidential information that the government has NO BUSINESS knowing anyway. This is at least one reason I would ANNIHILATE the Department of Homeland Security in a New York minute! What the Bush administration is doing is COMMUNIST and TOTALITARIAN! Period! There will be HELL to pay for the responsible parties of this oppressive and indecent lunacy!

14) Iz R Prezidintz Lurning?: I would happily sign into law a requirement that ANYONE who seeks the office of President or other high office would be REQUIRED to take and pass a Minimum Competency Standards Test to determine their fitness for office, it would both a written and a psychiatric examination. Those who test below minimum standards on both would NEVER be allowed to run for high office, period! We CANNOT EVER have another George Dubbaya Bush in office (or ANY of his kinfolk for that matter) or ANYONE that has about the intelligence of a box of rocks, INCOMPETENCE IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! We cannot afford any more embarrassment and disgrace than this dolt has bought on us already.

And that my friends is how I'd run the USA